Page 81 of Shut Up and Drive

“It already does,” I say, a sob escaping my throat.

He reaches out to me slowly, concern settling in the creases in his brow. When his hands make contact with my shoulders, I inhale sharply.

“Is it worth it?”

“Is what worth it?” I ask.

“Having the hard conversation so we can move forward,” he replies, his voice tight with tension. “Because from the moment I saw you again, all I’ve wanted to do was spill every secret I’ve held onto since I left.”

I close my eyes. My fight-or-flight instincts battle each other inside, and the chaos it creates overwhelms me. I take a steadying breath, and he tugs me ever so slightly toward him. I go the rest of the way on my own, and sink into his soaking-wet shirt.

“I’m not going anywhere, Fina, unless you ask me to leave. I’m not saying you have to put all your trust in me right this instant, but I am asking for the chance to earn it back.”

His voice reverberates through his chest and into my ear. It’s a hum that calms my nerves, and in between the thunder and lightning swarming around us, I hear myself say,

“Okay.”

Chapter 34

START WHERE EVERYTHING FELL APART

Thane

Ihand Sera a towel from the bathroom hook, and we stand in front of the mirror together, dripping with rain. She wrings her hair out over the sink and I follow suit with my T-shirt. We meet eyes and begin to laugh.

“I feel like wejustdid this at the Waffle House,” I say to her.

A warm smile crosses her face and all I can do is stare at her lips. “With all the things that went wrong during that trip, I have to admit, it was pretty fun.” Her eyebrow rises and she follows with, “With the exception of the gas station burritos.”

“I one hundred percent agree. That was one of the worst days of my life.”

She wraps her hair in a towel like a turban and grabs her PJs off the counter. “I’ll just be a sec,” she says, and disappears into thebunk room.

I’m left alone with my reflection, and the fear looking back at me is almost enough to make me change my mind.

What if, when she hears the truth, she leaves for good?

I push the thoughts away and peel off my soaking-wet clothes, tossing them over the shower curtain rod to dry.

By the time I’m dressed in dry clothes, she is sitting on the couch in the loft. I take a big, steadying breath, and move to sit next to her. This is it. The moment I’ve been running from for the last five years is sitting right in front of me. I’ve rehearsed what I would say a million times, but as she turns toward me and curls up cross-legged, my brain malfunctions and I forget every word.

She takes a shaky breath in, and her face shows exactly what’s twisting in my gut. At least we’re both terrified of this conversation. I force a smile and a nervous laugh escapes me.

“Uh, so where do you want to start?” I ask, fully prepared to have her slap me in the face and never talk to me again afterward.

“You could start by telling me the truth about the accident,” she says with a shrug. “Since that’s where everything fell apart.”

“Okay,” I say on an exhale, and unlock the door on all my secrets.

Chapter 35

THE ACCIDENT

Thane: Five years ago

Music pounded in my ears as Bash parked his car at yet another farewell party. Everyone would soon be leaving for college, so the end of July was planned for our last hurrahs together. The price to pay for being popular was that we spread ourselves thin trying to hit every house we were invited to. The lawn sprawled out in front of us, littered with teenagers laughing, dancing, and making out. Bash grinned from ear to ear at his first night of real freedom. Truth be told, I acted happy to be there, but what I really wanted was to be back at home, kissing his sister in the shadows of his backyard.

I weaved through the crowds, sipping on the same red plastic cup from my first and only beer, so no one would bug me about drinking. Bash, on the other hand, went overboard with the alcohol, and after the third party, he was trashed. The clock on the stove in the crowded kitchen indicated almost two in the morning, and my social battery was drained. Ifound Bash in the living room, laughing too loudly in the corner with a girl I’d never met.