Page 50 of Loving the Alien Spy

Devon climbs off the bed next. “I’ll go change since I’m right next door.”

Quinn raises and lowers one shoulder. “I plan on going home after breakfast anyway to shower, so I’ll put on clean clothes then.”

“Same,” Olivia echoes.

While Devon heads to her own place, I take my clothes into the bathroom to change and brush my hair and teeth. Once I’m presentable enough, I walk back into the bedroom that’s now empty. Voices come from the living room, so I go out there. Quinn and Liv sit on the sofa and glance over their shoulders when I step out.

“Cute top,” Olivia compliments with a grin.

I look down at the green shirt with its sweetheart neck I had one of the clothing vendors in the market specially make because I thought it made my eye color pop. “Thank you.”

Quinn pats the small space of cushion left between her and Olivia. “Come and sit for a second.”

With a small sigh, I cross the room and plop onto the sofa. Quinn takes my hand and pivots toward me. “Did you sleep okay?”

I shrug. “So-so.”

“If it’s any consolation, I think asking for some time apart is a perfectly reasonable request,” she says. “And while I may not know Bannik as well as you, I do know Horek. And if Bannik giving you what you ask for will make you happy, he’ll do it without question.”

The only problem with that is, now, in the light of day, I don’t know if I want him to give me time. It feels like he doesn’t care enough to fight for me. Which is completely and utterly unfair and irrational of me. It’s like poor Carrik can’t win either way. My brain isn’t so nice some of the time. Thankfully, the door swings open and Devon walks in.

“Are we ready?” she asks.

“I am.” I jump to my feet and smack my hips.

Quinn and Olivia stand, and I’m already halfway out the door. We get into the lift and ride it down to the first floor. The two guards at the entrance open the double doors for us, and a nice breeze hits me. With it is the scent of fresh flowers. Suddenly, I’m not hungry. Instead, I just want a little bit of peace and quiet. There’s only one place I know I’ll find it.

I stop on the sidewalk and turn to my friends. “Do you guys mind if I take a rain check on breakfast? I kind of want to be alone right now.”

“Are you sure?” Devon asks.

I nod. “Positive.”

The three share a glance before Olivia speaks. “Okay, but if you change your mind, you know where we’ll be for the next hour or so.”

“Thank you.” Feeling grateful, I hug them all and wave goodbye before they head off in one direction and I go in another.

I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the weather on Bohna. Back on Earth, the sky was always dingy and overcast. Or it was on the bottom tier. I have no idea if it was the same for the upper tier, but I can say with almost-certainty it wasn’t. I’d read in one of the books I’d found that the upper tier circulated their polluted air down to us and then filtered it before sending it back through the upper tier.

All the pollutants kept the full brightness of the sun from reaching down to us. It was just one more way for the rich to keep us from being remotely happy. How could we be when we were surrounded by ugliness and despair? God, it’s so fucking depressing to think about the miserable life we all led. Well, the life some of us led before deciding it wasn’t worth living anymore.

The familiar ache in my chest grows stronger. It always happens when I think of Ellie, which has been nearly every single day for the last ten years. The intense pain of losing her has lessened with the passing of time, but the agony of being the one to find her body—given its condition—is as sharp as ever. It’s a vision that will never leave my head, no matter how long it’s been.

I glance up from the shadow that spills across the sidewalk to find myself at the entrance of the botanical garden. Why am I not surprised? It’s the place that has offered me the most peace since I’ve been on Bohna. Even that first day I saw…Carrik in here, sitting on that bench.

The floral scent envelops me, and the cool air within the boundaries feels good against my skin. The trees and bushes are still. I’m not sure a single leaf moves. The only sounds are thoseof several birds calling to one another and my footsteps as I wind my way along the path. I’ve memorized most of the placards and the names of each flower they mention. My data pad has been great for giving me all the lovely details of each one—like what time of year they bloom, if they’re indigenous to Bohna or have been transplanted from elsewhere, all the colors they come in, and any special uses they have.

After the day in Erik’s when we talked about what hobby or job we might want, I sat down and really thought about it. It didn’t take me long to figure out I’d like to work with flowers and plants in some way. Maybe go to the university and get a degree in horticulture or work at a greenhouse in some capacity. I’m aware of at least two in the city. Hell, maybe the botanical garden needs some help. I’ve been nervous and kind of scared to look further into it, but the idea won’t leave my head.

I take my time walking along each path, pausing at various flowers and breathing in their fragrance. A sensation washes over me, and I come to an abrupt halt to glance around. I freeze at the sight of the lone Bohnari sitting on a familiar bench. Just like the first time I spotted him here not so many days ago, his head is tilted back and he stares up at the sky, seemingly unaware of my presence.

Of their own volition, my feet move, and I’m headed in Carrik’s direction. I’ve only taken a single step when his head snaps upright, and our eyes meet. Flames burst in the dark depths of his. He sits—frozen—even as the distance between us shrinks until I’m standing directly in front of him.

We continue staring at each other as he slowly widens the space between his thighs. I take a solitary step into the V he created, and Carrik leans forward to rest his cheek on my chest. His arms go around my waist, while I spear my fingers through his hair tohold him against me. I lay the side of my face on the top of his head, careful of his shortened horns. He has a fresh, clean scent like he recently showered, but there’s still a hint of Carrik there too.

“I am sorry for the hurt I caused you,” he tells me, gripping me a bit tighter but not enough to be painful.

“I know.” Devon told me to trust my gut, and yeah, maybe I’m listening to another part of me that could get broken into a thousand pieces, but I’m tired of fighting it.