Page 41 of Loving the Alien Spy

Once we’re finished, Bannik takes our dirty dishes and places them in the auto washer before returning to the sofa and pullingme onto his lap. I curl up against him, rest my cheek on his shoulder, and try not to purr as he strokes and pets my hair. A sense of peace flows through me, like my mind has finally accepted this is where I belong and who I belong with, despite our somewhat rocky start.

“Will you tell me more of your life back on Earth?” Bannik asks quietly.

There’s an undercurrent to his words that I can’t quite work out. “There isn’t really much more to tell that I haven’t already. I’m from the bottom tier and worked in one of the sanitation facilities. I mentioned already that my mom died when I was little and my dad remarried and had two sons. That truly is all there was to my life.”

He squeezes me. “While I wish you’d had a better one, I am glad that by being a member of this bottom tier, it brought you to Bohna.”

“I’m really glad as well.”

We sit there a moment longer, until the quiet is interrupted by Bannik’s comm. He checks his wristband, and whatever it is he sees there causes him to stiffen and curse.

“I am sorry, but I need to go,” he says, already carefully extricating himself from beneath me.

I’m on my feet right after he is and follow him into my room where he snags his shirt up off the floor and yanks it over his head. His boots are next, and then he’s rushing toward the front door. Halfway across the living area, he stops, spins around, and returns to me. Before I can blink, Bannik slams his mouth down on mine and kisses me like he’ll never get to kiss me again.

We’re breathless by the time we break apart, and in a flash, he’s out the door, leaving me standing there in stunned silence. What was that all about?

I’m just about to go take a shower when there’s a knock. Hope springs that Bannik’s back. I hurry forward and yank the door open. Instead of my mate, it’s Devon.

“Wow, don’t look so happy to see me.” She laughs and bypasses me inside. “Was that Bannik I saw hauling it out of here like his ass was on fire?”

I shut the door. “First, sorry. Of course I’m happy to see you, and yes, that was Bannik leaving.”

She swivels my direction. “I take it you two have worked out any differences you might have been having?”

Have we worked them out, or am I just ignoring they exist? “We’re…figuring things out.”

Devon cocks her head. “You don’t sound confident. Is everything okay?”

I cross the room and sink down on the sofa that’s still warm from Bannik’s heat. My friend does the same on the other end of it and pivots so she’s facing me.

“He—we—um…”

“Spent the night together?” Devon finishes for me, only it’s not really a question.

My cheeks heat, but I nod. “Yes.”

“It was good?”

I can’t help the sigh of pleasure. “It was the best thing that’s ever happened.”

“While I’m both incredibly happy for you and also the slightest bit envious that I’m the last one of us who’s still single, you also have this look. I just can’t figure out what it means since it sounds like there’s more going on.”

This is what I’ve been needing. A friend to talk to, and yet when the opportunity presents itself, I clam up. But this is Devon, and I know she won’t judge me, so I start talking. I tell her what Bannik said about secrets he can’t tell me yet. How confused I am because I want to trust him, and every time I tell myself I do, a small voice makes me question that trust.

“I’m a mess.”

She lays her hand on my arm. “You are not a mess. There’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling. It’s hard to trust people—including ourselves—when we’ve lived our entire lives the way we have. Being a bottomer teaches us to always be on guard. It’s a natural reaction. Maybe I’m wrong here, though, but it sounds like Bannik’s trying.”

“He is. I mean, he didn’t even have to mention he had secrets he wasn’t able to share yet.”

“Exactly,” Devon agrees. “You wouldn’t have known the difference if he hadn’t said anything. I think he really is trying to be what you need him to be. Yes, it sucks that he hasn’t opened up fully, but he also has trust issues, with his brother and whatnot.”

His relationship with Carrik has been a sore topic from the beginning. My heart aches for my mate, at not only the fracturethat has occurred between him and his brother, but the fact that Bannik is as alone as me.

“Do you think I’m wrong for blindly trusting him?”

“What does your gut tell you?” Devon counters.