Page 23 of High Velocity

She noticed his heated gaze roam her form, and of course, her nipples pebbled against the shirt with renewed desire.Charli then saw his cocky smile, and she chuckled.

“Feed me before we go another round.”

“Oh, I intend to,” he said, spreading mustard across slices of bread.“And I might have to call Harvey and tell him you’ll be late in the morning.”

“Don’t you dare.I’m not starting that precedent.”

He winked at her and finished crafting the sandwiches, sliding a plate her way that already had chips and a pickle spear on it.

“Thanks.”He only nodded, and they dug in.While eating, Charli couldn’t help but ogle the man with his broad, sculpted chest, filled with ink that journeyed down his muscular arms.The Sons of Sin emblem was proudly displayed all on its own over his left pec.His warm brown eyes watched her as she watched him, but he said nothing, simply smirking as he ate.She playfully stuck out her tongue at him, causing a nice laugh to escape.

They were nearly finished when she thought she should broach the subject of her past.Maybe she needed the purge.She definitely wanted to put some things into perspective.

“I was hurting real bad, Roark.”His gaze snapped to hers, a mix of confusion and anger on his face.“I was angry and scared and weak.I lost myself.I was an idiot who—”

“No,” he barked, startling her.“You were a child who lost her father and extended family you loved.Not to say you didn’t love your mother, but it was clear to everyone where you wanted to be.Who you wanted to be with.But I can’t imagine being in your mother’s head, wanting you with her, going through the pain as well even if she hardly spent any time with Liam anymore.”

Charli cleared her throat.“She was hurting too, just kept it bottled up.We hardly spoke to one another initially when she took me back north outside Coeur d’Alene.She suggested I see a counselor, but I couldn’t open up to a stranger no matter their qualifications.I didn’t go.I wouldn’t go to school.I hardly ate.”She glanced down at herself and chuckled.“No problem with that now.”

“You’re perfect.Don’t ever want to hear you say otherwise.”

She smiled and continued.“I went numb and nothing Mom said or did got through to me.So, she stopped trying.I think even though I ignored her, it hurt more when she stopped trying.And you know the other crazy thing?Her parents, the family she was so desperate to be near for their support, not once did they come around after our return.Not once.

“Mom wanted me to come with her for a visit to her parents, but I refused.I said why bother, they didn’t care about me.About us.She said nothing and went without me, and I vegged in my room like I always did.She never said a word when she got home.Nothing about them being concerned about me, about wanting to see me.”

Roark rounded the counter and drew her into his arms.“Oh, baby, I’m so damned sorry.For as mature as you were, you were still just a kid.And seems you didn’t have a damn person there to comfort you and get you through that shit.”

She shook her head against his shoulder then drew back to look at him.

“Was it Owen who knew and told you?About the past?The scars?Was he keeping tabs on me?”

“He tried.He knew people in the area who were watching you.Hell, there were many times when he wanted to intervene but knew he had no legal right.And he wasn’t about to get into a battle with your mom, thinking she needed you too.”

“Ha.”Charli backed up and sat on one of the stools.Roark did the same.“For months, she just wouldn’t talk to me, Roark.She kept her thoughts, any anger or sadness, to herself.Anyway, when I refused to go to school, I got a job and started earning money.I wanted to buy a bus ticket to get back to Hunt.Mom somehow found out and took my money.Gah, I was so angry.We argued, and I stormed out.But not before yelling that I’d hitchhike if I had to.She came after me and wrestled me back in the house.Locked me in my room.The house was so old, and the windows were painted shut.I couldn’t even open mine.I was truly trapped!”

“Hey, hey, enough.”Roark held her shoulders and made her look at him.“You don’t need to relive that shit.”

“But I need you to understand what I went through and why I still chose to stay.”

He dropped his hands and folded them in his lap, nodding at her.Charli pushed her hair away from her face, twisted it behind her, and took a deep breath.

“Locked in that room, I had no idea how long she’d leave me in there.I screamed and cried until I passed out.When a day went by, I thought surely she’d come check on me.But she didn’t.I had no food, nothing to drink, and no bathroom access.It wasn’t pretty.After another day, I got angry again and banged on the door until I wore myself out.Damn thing was solid.Then I ripped apart my room and even broke the window.But the metal framework didn’t allow me to slip out.I was so sure she’d left me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Roark swore as he pulled her to him.“I’m so sorry, baby.”

Charli took his comfort, soaked it in, knowing the worst was yet to come.She pulled away and faced him.

“I was scared, Roark.So damned scared.There was nothing I could do.Or thought I could do.I sat there, staring at the broken shards of glass, wondering...”She watched his face harden, and his mouth flatten into a thin line.“I thought, if I was going to die in that room, why not just do it myself.”Charli took another deep breath.“I picked up a large piece and traced it along my wrist.Then I pressed it into my skin, cutting it.I did it over and over, knowing I wouldn’t kill myself that way, but ...somehow, that pain was preferrable to the heartache I felt over thinking my mom abandoned me.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, fucked up was more like it.”

“Charli...”

“I was a confused, frightened kid.I didn’t know what I was doing or why I thought it helped at the time.So, yeah, I was fucked up.And I thought I was going to die anyway, so what the hell.When I’d marked up my left arm, I started on my left leg.It was significant enough, and without food or water, I passed out.Next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital with my arm and leg bandaged, and Mom crying at my bedside.”

Charli watched Roark close his eyes and inhale deeply.When he opened them and stared at her, his features had softened.He took her hands in his.“Go on,” he said softly.