Page 54 of On His Mind

“There’s two goalies ahead of me. I don’t play much.”

“Oh,” I say, searching his face.

He takes a sip. “It’s fine.”

“I know nothing about hockey.”

“I’m still learning.” He takes another long sip.

“How much do you hate the tea?” I ask. “Honestly.”

His lips twitch as he leans forward. “Honestly? It tastes like dirt.”

I laugh.

“But it’s not bad. Thank you for making it.”

“You’re welcome.”

“If it works, I’ll need to buy myself some.”

I take a small sip. “Are you still working at the Camerie?”

He shakes his head. “I’m on call, so if they’re desperate and I don’t have hockey, then I can go, but they haven’t called me yet.”

“They sound understanding of your schedule. That’s good.”

He finishes his tea and asks, “How’s your internship?”

I inhale. I wasn’t expecting that to come up, and now that it has, I don’t know whether to tell him about Friday or keep it to myself.

“What happened?” he asks, like he can see right through me.

That’s not normal. People can never read me.

“What?” I ask. The word slips out, breathless.

“Did something happen?” he asks, concerned, but not overly.

I set my mug down. “I turned in a project on Friday. I made a big change to the layout, and Oliver was pleased.” I raise my eyebrows. “And as a result, he offered to get me on the Chicago project.”

He listens to me patiently, but I’ve lost my words.

He says, “And there’s nothing for you in Chicago.”

“Yes,” I say, relieved I don’t have to say it. “And that’s why I can’t sleep.” I look down. “I didn’t speak my truth when it was offered to me, and that’s unlike me, but it would meandisappointing my mom who got me the internship.” I nod, pursing my lips to the side.

“It’s on your list,” he says. “Saying no to her.”

“You remember that.”

He nods once.

“I keep coming back to it being a good experience.”

“Is it what you want?”

My eyes meet his. The light shines into them, and for the first time, I see that they’re light. “No.”