Page 163 of On His Mind

“Pause,” Stanley agrees, nodding, leaning back on the chair. “Absolutely. Pausing. Although, timeline-wise, I’ve got thirty days on the returns, but we’ve got six days till we leave for the ski lodge, so realistically the pause window is—”

He stops.

His whole face changes.

“Excuse me,” he says.

He’s out of the chair so fast it tips over and the legs crash back on the ground. He hits the doorframe with his shoulder and is gone down the hall at a dead sprint.

Blue says, “What the hell was—”

The sound that comes back through the house is not a sound a person should be able to make. It goes through the drywall. It hasreverb.It didn’t matter how far he ran, that fart was felt.

Rowan puts his forehead on the counter.

“That was through two doors,” Benson comments.

“That was through two doors and the laundry room,” Blue says.

“He was holding that one in this whole time,” Rowan says, laughing into the counter.

Stanley comes back down the hall at a stroll, hands spread, chin up. “Gentlemen.”

“You are disgusting,” Benson tells him.

He claps once. “Alright. Where were we? Oh. The trip. And listen, I know you said no, and I’ve considered your no, and I’ve decided against it. We’re all going. All of us. I’ll put Penelope in the car myself if I have to.”

“I don’t think the girls are into snowboarding,” Benson announces.

“G was all for it. And Aspen is named after a ski lodge, Reeve. Little Lucy and Melly will be fine. If they don’t want to hit the slopes, they can sit in the jacuzzi and drink out of the bedazzled wine glasses like queens.”

I look at the wine glasses on the table. I try to picture it. Her, up there, in a lodge with her friends. Snow on the windows. Her laughing at something Melly said, keeping her composure, and her eyes finding mine across the room the way they always do.

I can see it so clearly it makes me feel sick.

But I don’t think she’ll forgive me.

“I can’t afford to go,” I say. I don’t dress it up.

Stanley doesn’t blink. “I’m paying for it.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yeah, I am.”

I look around the table. “You guys are letting him pay for everything?”

Benson shakes his head. Rowan shakes his head.

“No—” Stanley waves both hands. “No, listen, the hotel’s already paid for. Two rooms, four beds, and I got them on points.”

“Points?” I question.

“Yeah. Rewards. Credit card.” He says it like I’m slow. “I’ve been running every bill in this house through my card since sophomore year. Electric, gas, internet, the cable nobody watches, groceries, all of it. You, clowns, Venmo me back on the first, and I keep the points. That’s the arrangement. That’s been the arrangement for two years, and none of you ever asked why I volunteered.”

Rowan slowly lifts his head off the counter. “You’ve been farming us.”

“I’ve been stewarding you.”