“Are you going to stay?” she asks.
I hold her face in my hands, staring into her eyes. “I have a game tomorrow, so I can’t.”
She stares right back, still flushed. “Do you ever play?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m a bench warmer.”
She laughs at that, and my stomach drops at the smile on her face. I think I did that. I watch her cheeks rise, her eyes go smaller, and her mouth widen.
“You’re beautiful, Penelope.”
Her smile widens. “So are you, Percy.”
I drop my head and shake it.
“What?” she laughs quietly. “You are.”
I close my eyes.
“Alright,” she says. “Fine. You’re handsome.”
I lift my head and look her in the eyes.
“Better?”
I almost smile.
“You’re hot,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Is that better?”
I shake my head. “The last one was just fine.”
She pulls herself closer to me and kisses me. Then she hums, “I like kissing you.”
I kiss her again. Slower this time.
“I have to go,” I say, and I don’t move.
“Right now?”
“Yeah, sometimes the guys wake up extra early for travel days. I should get back before they see me sneaking in.”
“Okay,” she says, but she doesn’t let go of my wrists.
Neither of us moves for a while. I kiss her again because I don’t want to stop, and the fact that I can now is new to me.
The second I step out of her warm room into the hall, the cold comes back, and I want so badly to walk back in her room and never leave it.
“Text me when you’re home,” she whispers when we reach her front door.
I nod.
I go down the back way, past the mailroom, out into the cold, and I walk home with my hands in my pockets and my whole chest full of something I don’t know how to carry.
My whole life, I’ve known how to lose things. I’ve come to terms with that. I could lose something in my sleep and still be okay. What I’ve never once had in my life was something to keep.
And I’ve got one now.
A big something.