Page 136 of Maybe Tomorrow

Pauline wanted to get married in the autumn. It was her favourite time of year and she thought her wedding photographs would look amazing with the gold, red and brown leaves strewn around them. A date was set for late October. She’d found a suit in burgundy she loved, and she thought it would look good for Leo and Anthony to wear the same.

There was a tailor not far from where they lived, and Leo drove them both there to be measured up. Afterwards, Leo treated them all to a burger down by the seafront. It was a warm July day. The schools had just finished for the summer and the beach was filling up nicely with excitable children with no volume button running in and out of the sea. They stayed away from the main hubbub of activity and went to sit on a wall to eat their lunch.

‘Is everything all right?’ Leo asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Do you like Withernsea?’

‘I do. I prefer it to Whitby.’

‘Good. You’ve been quiet since you got out. You hardly talk anymore.’

‘I can’t get used to it.’

‘What?’

‘Being able to talk.’

‘You were allowed to talk in prison, surely.’

‘Yes, but depending on who was around, you knew when to keep quiet.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘If you were loud or making a noise, it made people look at you. People were horrible to me in prison. They…’ he stopped. He placed his burger back in the box.

‘You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.’

‘They’d walk past me and punch me on the back or spit in my food or my hair or on my face. I wanted to stay in my cell, but I wasn’t allowed. Sometimes, after work, I’d go back into my cell, and they’d done something to my bed. I’d tell the officers, but they wouldn’t allow me to keep changing my sheets, so I’d have to get into a wet bed,’ he said on the verge of tears.

In the background, life was continuing as normal. The air was filled with childish laughter, but Anthony was telling a story of horror that clashed with the beautiful blue sky and the warm sunshine. Leo shivered.

‘We had no idea,’ he said. ‘I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that.’

‘I can’t seem to stop thinking about it.’

‘It was a traumatic experience you went through, Anthony, and it went on for so long. You can’t expect to forget about it so quickly.’

‘At night…’ he began before stopping. ‘At night, I sometimes think I can hear people outside my bedroom door trying to come in. I’m scared, Leo.’

‘We need to get you to see a doctor, Anthony. Maybe they can recommend someone for you to go and talk to, a professional.’

‘Will they put me away again?’

‘No. No they won’t,’ he answered quickly. ‘They’ll be able to help you make sense of being free again.’

‘Can we go to the moors tomorrow?’

‘I have to work tomorrow. We can go at the weekend, if you like?’

His fact lit up. ‘I’d like that.’

‘Anthony, is there anything else troubling you?’

He looked out to the sea. It was a while before he replied. He nodded.

‘What?’