Page 45 of Unmoored

“There she is,” he whispered in my ear, easing into a slow pace, moving his hips back and forth. He teased the gills at my hips with his fingers, and the ridges at the base of his shaft pressed delightfully against my clit with each movement. The feeling of his body atop mine, of being caged in his embrace, was the most treasured I’d ever felt in my life. For these few beautiful moments, I allowed myself to feel each sensation fully, grateful to be present in every second. I wondered if this was what it felt like to make love, and decided that if it was, I wanted to do it as often as possible for the rest of my life.

It took longer for Draya to bring me to the brink of an orgasm this time, but he kept me suspended in a state of bliss, timing his movements with my shallow gasps and moans. I closed my eyes and trailed my fingers over every inch of him I could reach, trying to commit the planes of his body to my memory. If this turned out to be all but a dream, I needed to remember every second.

Before I knew it, I was coming again, clenching around him and crying out his name as he grasped my hips andpressed deeper. His eyelids fluttered, and I felt the base of his cock swell against my inner thighs as I realized he was coming as well. He pulsed inside of me, filling me with his hot release as the last few waves of my orgasm dissipated. After a moment, he slipped out and gently rolled us over until my head was against his chest and his arms encircled me.

He stayed in my bed, in his human form, holding me tight against his chest for the rest of the night. Something had changed between us, and I no longer wondered if I had made a mistake in trusting him. In his own strange way, he’d set me free from a life in which I was barely alive. Although I was nervous he’d hurt me again, and that there would be further arguments and struggles between us, a part of my soul belonged to the Talassi beside me. For the first time in many years, I felt completely safe, and I fell asleep to the sound of his soft breathing and the subtle rumbling coming from his chest.

PART IV

31

HAZEL

Iwoke in a daze, my eyes taking a moment to adjust in the dark, stuffy space. My hands splayed on the sheets beneath me, only to discover a thin mattress covered in stiff sheets. Something was wrong. A cold draught brushed over my body, and as my vision cleared, I stared up at a cracked, worn white ceiling met at the edges by crumbling grey stone walls.

A pit of dread opened inside me, and I threw off the sheet, staring down at my body in horror. I didn’t recognize the frame before me, emaciated and pallid, devoid of life and vitality. My heart stuttered in my chest, and I forced myself to keep breathing as I took in my surroundings.

The sound of waves travelled through the small open window, and I peered around the cold, desolate room, I was forced to reconcile with the fact that I had woken up at the Akala Asylum.

I stared out the window for a moment, my eyes catching on a small seagull soaring beneath dark grey clouds. Unfortunately, the opening was far too small for me to throwmyself out. I’d be willing to try again, though I doubted this time would be any different than the many times I’d tried in the past.

My toes hit the icy tile floor, bare feet stinging with the change in temperature, and I pinched myself on my arms and neck. I pinched so hard that I drew blood from the crook of my elbow, and my head grew heavy as my vision tunneled.

My fingers were bony and stiff, and I stared down at them like some strange anomaly I no longer recognized. I tried shifting my hands into their Talassi form, but it was no use. Instead of being greeted by a cord of flowing magic, my flesh was flat and dry, and I only ended up with a pounding headache.

I sank to the floor, that pit of dread growing into a gaping chasm, uncertainty creeping through my veins. The walls swelled in my peripherals, as if they were closing in on me, and my eyes stung with the river of tears welling behind them.

So it’s true, I thought, hanging my head in my hands.All of it was a dream, andI’m nothing more than a woman gone mad.

My body felt like a hollow corpse, all hope and will to live sucked out in the span of minutes. Hot tears ‌streamed down my cheeks and over my bony fingers, soaking the cotton shift covering my torso.This can’t be true,I thought, releasing a choked, desperate sob. The idea that I’d made it all up, that everything I’d experienced since escaping Akala had been nothing more than a hallucination, hung over me like a hurricane threatening to destroy me once and for all. All that time in the Talassian Capital, all those days I’d spent with Draya, Cordelia, Maki, and the entire city ofbeautiful creatures, was gone. In the end, none of it had ever even existed. It was a figment of my overactive, severely ill mind.

I jumped to my feet, scrambling over the cot and reaching into the small cubby where I kept my journal. It was still there, and I slammed it down on the cot, opening to find pages upon pages of my shaky scribbles. Frantically flipping through, I prayed to whatever was out there that I’d find some clue, some proof that I hadn’t imagined it all. I needed a tether of hope to hold on to, something to prove that I was sane. That I didn’t belong in this wretched place.

My last journal entry stopped rather abruptly, and I could feel the utter despair laced throughout my words.

This time, I won’t hold my breath, and I’ll do everyone a favor when they pull my corpse from the tank.

The memory came back in an instant – I’d tried to die in the tank. I’d tried my hardest to stop breathing, to let my body succumb to the water and drown. Maybe it had worked, and I’d breathed in enough water to give me brain damage, which might explain the vivid dreams I’d had of my rescue. Tears blurred the ink on the page, and I set the journal down on the bed beside me.

I allowed myself to cry, to mourn the new chance at life that I was convinced I’d been gifted. The loss burned, opening a wound that struck deeper than any despair I’d ever experienced in my short life. Draya had been my one sliver of hope during my years in the hospital, and I’d heldonto it because I truly believed it was real. The last shred of anything I'd ever cared about was ripped from my fingertips, and I was once again left alone on the floor of this prison.

After what felt like a few hours of weeping on the floor of this wretched cell disguised as a bedroom, I took control of my breathing and tried to pull myself together. I needed to know who was outside my room, to see if I recognized any of the nurses or guards.

I had no idea how long I’d been asleep after that last hydrotherapy session. It likely put me in a coma, and years could have passed and I’d be none the wiser. What if I were elderly? I’d fallen unconscious as a young woman and woken decades later as an old crone. My limbs sure felt as if they hadn’t been used in a decade.

Peeking my head out of the iron door, I was met by the sneering face of the nurse I’d dreamt had attacked me during my escape. Apparently, he was my keeper now, and that chasm of dread in my stomach somehow grew even larger.

Not only did his presence confirm that I belonged in this place, I no longer had Bucky, my only friend in this crumbling building full of decay and despair.

“You’re finally awake,” he said, his gruff voice making the hair on my body stand stiff. He eyed me with beady dark irises, his plump red face covered in an ugly sneer. “Get back in your room, I’ll collect you shortly.”

Collect me?

Not wanting to deal with him any longer, I slammed my door shut and collapsed in a heap on the cold tile. I didn’t want to look at my journal again, or even out at the ocean.Could I smash the glass of the window and use it to slit my wrists or my throat, to put an end to my misery once and for all?

No, I’d tried that already, or at least I thought I had.

I don’t know how much time passed as I lay there, unable to sleep, unable to think straight, no longer wanting to dream. Instead, I just laid on the hard floor, counting the paint chips in the cracked ceiling until I had no tears left to cry.