Page 71 of Through the Eyes of Love

“Darcy is a very considerate man. I hope you realize how lucky you are.”

“I am thankful every day for the man my husband is.” Elizabeth set down her teacup and studied her sister. Jane was not well, and Elizabeth now had to find out what truly caused her to stay away from Pembrook Cottage. “How are you really? The dark circles under your eyes tell me you are not sleeping. You know you cannot keep anything from me—I know you too well.”

Jane took a deep breath before responding. “Since Mr. Bingley left me so suddenly, I have been questioning everything about my life, and it has kept me awake. I was not in love with Henry and, as you can imagine, the nights with him were the worst time. I tried to act the part of a loving wife, but I could never give myself completely to my husband. Do you know what I mean?” Elizabeth frowned. “The only good thing that came out of that time was my baby—but even that was not meant to be.”

“Dearest, I can never express how much I regret suggesting you marry Henry before Papa died. If you had refused my plan, your life would have been so much better.”

“I do not blame you—I blame only myself. I believed if I was married, I could escape living at Longbourn in the aftermath of Papa’s death. I could not bear the thought of listening to Mama’s lamentations all day, every day. When I cannot sleep, I think about what my life would have been like if I had not married Henry.”

“Where do those thoughts lead you?”

“I would doubtless have asked to go with you to London and perhaps I would have met someone there who I could love and marry.”

“Do you believe you were in love with Mr. Bingley?”

“I cannot say I was in love, but I believed I could come to love him and give him my whole heart. Every time I think of his desertion, my heart aches and. . .”

Elizabeth waited, but her sister said no more. “What else? Pray tell me. You will feel better if you say it aloud and you know I shall never judge you.”

“Every day since we were old enough to understand the meaning of her words, Mama said I was the most beautiful of her daughters and my looks would lead me to a great match. To be honest, it was nice to hear. Yet, I know I am so much more than a woman people judge solely on the way I look. It is interesting—as I get older, I no longer see the beautiful, young, innocent Jane Bennet in my looking glass.”

“You will always be my most beautiful sister—not because of what you see in your reflection but because of the remarkable person you are. You are always kind and even tempered—you do not form an opinion about people quicklyorharshly. People do not judge you for being beautiful but for what is inside you.”

“The day you told me about Mr. Bingley leaving for London, I asked you how I could ever trust another man. I was sad when Henry died and despondent when I lost my baby, but Lizzy, I would prefer living alone for the rest of my life than to be hurt again.”

“First of all, you willneverbe alone. You will soon have your own suite of rooms at Pemberley, and we want you to live with us for as long as you like, or you can remain right here. Second, youwillmeet someone who will love you for who you are; all of you—I am sure of it. I have this birthmark, but Darcy fell in love with what was in my heart, and we love each other most deeply.”

“I have missed being with you both and I promise I shall visit you soon.”

“Richard Fitzwilliam visited us recently. He has sold his commission and taken up residence at his estate, Willow Hall. It is less than an hour away, and he frequently visits to consult with Darcy about estate matters. He asks about you every time he visits.”

“I enjoyed his company during the short time we spent together, but in all honesty, I have not thought about him at all. Soon after the colonel. . .I mean Mr. Fitzwilliam returned to London, Bingley appeared and quickly succeeded in breaking my heart.”

Just then, Fitzwilliam returned to the ladies. He had probably overheard the last words of their conversation, but Elizabeth did not mind. She had no secrets from her husband.Elizabeth held her sister’s hand. “I have come to know Richard well this past year. He is a good man with a strong, dependable character—someone Fitzwilliam trusts completely.”

Her husband added, “He is the most dependable and generous man I know. Since we were boys, he has been like a loving brother to me and is always the first person to come to my aid. You are my sister, and I would never say or do anything that would bring you harm.”

Elizabeth asked, “When you are ready to come back to the cottage, would you allow us to invite him to join us for tea? It isstillpossible for us both to be happy at the same time!”

Jane laughed and reached out to hug her around the baby. “You are acting like Mama, Lizzy, only in your own dear way! But I suppose with you and Darcy singing his praises, I have no choice but to agree to see him again.”

* * *

March1813

Pembrook Cottage

Jane was already in the drawing room when Richard arrived. He greeted the Darcys and turned to greet Mrs. Horton. How could he have forgotten how very beautiful she was? One day he must thank Bingley for giving him a second chance with thischarming woman. “Mrs. Horton, it is a pleasure seeing you again. You look very well.”

“It is good to see you, Mr. Fitzwilliam.”

“Richard, kindly have a seat and I shall ring for tea.” Elizabeth had a sparkle in her eye. She was up to something.

“How do you enjoy living at Stockton Hall? I remembered that I saw it once years ago when I was with Darcy, and it was quite lovely.”

“My brother and sister are very kind to me—I find living at Stockton very much to my liking. I moved there in October, and I look forward to seeing the trees and flowers come back to life.”

Richard departed shortly after tea was served but promised to visit as soon as he was able. He wished to spend as much time as he could with Mrs. Horton, and the Darcys were the means through which he would do so.