Page 26 of The Cowboy and the Baby

Being here, that Noelle stirred awake again. Beyond the grief of losing a twin that had never really belonged to me, and gaining a daughter I hadn’t been prepared for, was this feeling. The only word that made sense was awakening.

A gentle hand on my shoulder jarred me from the recollections. I sucked in a breath, jerking upright, as Cade passed the phone to me.

“Marsha wants to speak to you.”

His hand dropped off my shoulder like a flash of heat, and he strode out of the kitchen with the heavy tread of cowboy boots. Dizzy from falling into deep ideas, and returning to find Cade’s soft eyes so close, I pressed the phone to my ear.

“Marsha?”

“I’m going to need some time to wrap my head around this, honey, but I can’t say I’m that surprised.”

Her fluttering voice, heightened by anxiety, was a telltale sign of an impending crash out. Marsha hated surprises, which is yet another reason I didn’t want to drag a baby into their life.

“We haven’t visited Morgan in years,” she continued, prattling now, “and that place was a disaster even then. Cade seemed to say that it was worse than before. He may not have inherited much after all, and maybe it’s for the better. No one likes a bad investment.”

Her words echoed.

No one likes a bad investment.

How quickly she’d thrown this magical place away.

“I’m sorry, Marsha.”

“I need to go! Our friends are calling to me. Bart and I will discuss—” Static consumed her voice. She resumed, saying, “Talk soon, honey! Thank you!” and clicked off.

Relief flowed through me as I nursed my chamomile tea, listened to the distant chatter of cowboys talking about state land grazing rights, watched the snow falling on the porch outside, and considered that sometimes one woman’s bad investment was another woman’s saving grace.

Grandma’s ghost coaxed me out of bed early the next morning.

Distant dreams of helping to manage a clinical trial, the astringent smell of hospital rooms, and interviewing patients bled from my brain as I padded out of the bedroom and peered into the living room. The couch was empty. Cade had folded up his blankets, set them neatly on top of his pillow, and stacked them at the end. He left so silently for morning chores, I barely knew he lived here.

We needed to work on cleaning out one of the spare bedrooms, or fixing the broken window in his barn room. I wasn’t sure which would be more difficult, because I hadn’t seen the window. As owner, he deserved better accommodations than a barn room.

I slipped into the kitchen and stood in front of the range. My eyes closed, and I followed a memory. The light smell of sulfur, a flare of fire, and the welcoming call of Grandma chirping, Well! Good morning little bird. Aren’t you up early? no matter how late I slept in.

Her wrinkled hand would go to the tea kettle, bring it to the sink, fill it, and set it on the waiting flame. My eyes opened.

A water-filled tea kettle awaited me.

With her memory gliding through my thoughts, I mimicked her motions. From setting the water on to boil, to withdrawing the giant frying pan from the wall peg, to seeking eggs. I replayed the memories of Naomi and I tromping to the barn. The dry rustle of hay, the squawk and protestation and fluttering wings as we sought freshly-laid eggs. Today, there were no fresh eggs on the counter in the spiral feeder that Grandma used to set them in after cleaning them. Just the eggs Cade purchased in the fridge.

I frowned.

We needed chickens. Didn’t we have chickens? Maybe they weren’t laying.

I’d talk to Cade.

The thought came so easily I almost didn’t notice it. Talk to Cade, like I had any buy-in here. Like it mattered what Noelle Morgan wanted from Cade Callahan’s ranch. Had I settled in so readily in the first three days?

My hands reached for an apron I found at the bottom of the towel drawer, humming the same notes Grandma hummed, reaching for the flour, the yeast, the water. Grandma never measured anything. When I leaned into the rhythm of falling salt granules, the smell of yeast, and warmed butter, I began to discover what I sought.

Grounding.

Stability.

Noelle.

No, Naomi. There were lost parts of me that I hadn’t yet acknowledged, because I was too busy keeping Lily alive. But now the biggest fears were solved. We had a place to stay. Heat. Food. Cade provided a protection and security I had never imagined. With those promises secured, the rest bubbled to the surface.