Page 87 of Aiden & Lily

She squeezed her eyes shut. “Stop. Please.”

Silence settled between them.

She wanted to shut out the words, but she had asked for the truth. She couldn’t demand honesty and then refuse to hear it. When she opened her eyes again, Aiden was watching her.

The sensation of his cool hand wrapping around hers drew her from the cage she’d been retreating into. Her eyes flew open and she gazed at the man she’d fallen in love with. Her heart was breaking. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, so many reassurances she needed, but this time she wasn’t brave enough to demand answers.

He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. Her focus locked on the movement.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I hate that I ever thought about you that way.”

“But you did.”

“Yes, I did.”

Her heart broke a little more at the simple answer.

“When did that change?”

Aiden looked as though the question hurt him.

“Almost immediately,” he said. “I just didn’t want to admit it.”

Lily folded her arms more tightly. “Why?”

“Because wanting you meant I had something to lose.” His voice roughened. “I’d spent years convincing myself I didn’t need anything serious. Then you came along, and suddenly I wanted all of it. I wanted the future you talked about. A home. A family. A life together. And the more I wanted it, the more afraid I became that the truth would take it away.”

Lily blinked back tears. “So you kept hiding it.”

“Yes.”

“That wasn’t love,” she whispered. “Not that part.”

He flinched and let go of her hand.

She hated hurting him, but she couldn’t soften the truth.

“Being afraid doesn’t mean you get to keep things from me,” she continued. “You don’t get to protect yourself by being dishonest.”

“You’re right.”

His answer was so immediate that some of the fight went out of her.

Aiden drew in a shaky breath. “I told myself I was waiting for the right time. But it seems I was waiting for a time when telling you wouldn’t cost me anything.”

Lily’s throat tightened.

“And that time didn’t exist,” he said. “I should have told you anyway and dealt with the fallout.”

She looked down at the grass between them. Aiden shifted closer, but he didn’t touch her.

He blew out a strangled breath then lifted his eyes to meet hers. “I got attached and…” He lifted a shoulder, his smile void of the happiness she craved to see. “I fell in love with you.”

Lily lifted her gaze.

His eyes were wet, but he didn’t look away.

“I love you,” he continued. “And I know saying that doesn’t fix what I did. It doesn’t make the secret smaller. But nothing about what I feel for you is temporary.”