Page 98 of Playing the Backbeat

“You say that now, but what about when this fun, sexy, honeymoon phase is over?” she asks, her voice shaking.

“Still talking an awful lot about the shit that scares you without answering my question…do you want this with me?”

She doesn’t answer, and I storm into my room, blindly grabbing a shirt, hoping to God it’s one of mine and not one Dee left floating around my room. Dee hasn’t moved in the minute it took me to dress, and I’m out the door before she can say a word.

I don’t stop moving, my mind races, and tumbles from one thought to the next, and I can’t think straight. My heart is racing and I’m sweating. I slam my fist on the steering wheel and don’t know where I’m driving until I find myself parked outside Dom’s house.

I text him, and thankfully he, Ellie, and Luca are already awake. Guess it wouldn’t be realistic to think they get to sleep in later than I do. Once again, Luca has my back.

Chapter forty-four

Dylan

My phone rings for the sixth time in five minutes. An old picture of Dominic and me from college pops up on the screen. We were at the Bridge. The first concert I ever went to there. I applied for a job the next day; something about the old building called to me.

I mean, it was a fuzzy type of calling, given that Dom and I had drunk our way through a twelve pack of shitty beer we could barely afford beforehand, but still. A calling all the same.

I pauseAntiques Roadshowto answer Dom’s seventh call.

“The person you are trying to reach is not available,” I say, my voice monotone.

“Don’t even fucking try it,” Dom says in his dad voice.Good luck to Luca when he’s older.

I sigh, melting further into my couch. It’s been a week since I moved out of Dee’s apartment, taking all of my furniture that I was storing in Dom and Ellie’s basement to my new place.

My new place that sucks.

It’s organized, my mail is in one pile, there’s no creepy cat lurking around the corner, and there’s no smart-ass in hot pink biking shorts stealing my shirts, demanding I share my dessert, and ruining game night with her terrible, horribly adorable gaming skills.

Fuck, I’ve got to get my mind off Dee.

“It’s been a week since you moved and you’ve gone radio silent. What gives?”

“Nothing. I’m busy at work.”

“Dee told Ellie you called off for the last two concerts.”

“I did not. I’m required to show up for the first hour of the show, and that’s what I did.” Then I got the fuck out of there and let the rest of the staff handle shit while I worked from home so I didn’t have to skirt around Dee while she worked at the bar. After, of course, I made sure our security guys knew that VickiandDee would now need to be walked to their cars at the end of the night.

The sound of Dom’s slow clap tells me all I need to know about his thoughts on my flimsy excuse.

“Don’t tell me,” I say. “You’re not mad, just—”

“Disappointed? You fucking bet. We all know you and Dee put a pause on whatever was going on between you two, even though you won’t talk to any of us about it. Stop sulking and talk to her already.”

“I already tried that.” I ended up alone in this stupid apartment.

“Well, try again. And do better this time.”

“She made it clear that there wasn’t anything to talk about. She acted like just because we hadn’t put a label on this thing between us, that we didn’t need to figure it out. Like it was casual.”

Like we were disposable.

“And why do you think she did that?”

I glare at my phone, wishing like hell I could take everything I’m feeling out on Dom, because it would feel really fucking good to unload all this shit bouncing around my brain. But I know it’s not his fault, it’s mine.

I walked away from Dee. I didn’t stay and fight for us, for what I wanted. For what I still want. I didn’t call her on her shit when she played aloof. Like whatever has been growing between us was unimportant. Like it didn’t change things between us. As if an apartment should change the trust we were building between us.