Page 84 of Playing the Backbeat

“Sandy. Shit. Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m the worst.” I grip the hem of my shirt, playing with the fabric. “I didn’t mean to—”

She holds up her hand, then reaches for me. I place one palm in hers before she places her other one on top of it. “Please don’t apologize. I loved Ben, and I love talking about him. Thinking about him. Still gives me the butterflies remembering him.”

I smile, partly relieved, partly in awe. What a fucking woman.

“You loved him very much.”

“I loved him with everything I had. It’s the only way to do it.” She shrugs as if it really is that simple. “When you find your match, you go all in. I’m at peace knowing we gave it everything we had. It was a dream while we had each other.”

She squeezes my hand one more time before letting go.

I grab shot glasses for all of us, line them up, and fill each one just shy of the brim. I place them in front of Sandy and her friends, grabbing the last myself.

“To Ben,” I shout over the music, lifting the glass.

Sandy beams at me. A man who can make a woman smile like that…that’s a man I can get behind.

The rest of the night passes in a blur. Dylan checks in at the bar more than he ever has, small touches, reassurances throughout the night that he’s still there.

I’m finishing the last of the dishes when Vicki stuffs my portion of tonight’s tips into my back pocket.

“Nice work, lady.”

“So, I’m getting better?” I ask.

“You’ve surprised even yourself,” she says, with a laugh and a wink.

I pack up my belongings and wave to Vicki as she heads toward the staff parking lot. Our bouncers always wait for her, making sure she gets to her car. I nod to him before he follows her down the hall. I make my way to the offices backstage, knowing I’ll have to drag Dylan away from work.

It’s three thirty in the morning, my feet hurt, and my shoes are sticky. I’m ready for a hot shower and my bed. I put new sheets on my bed today, and there’snothinglike slipping in between clean sheets. I need to get the fuck home.

I climb the few stairs from the pit, then stand center stage. “Dylan,” I yell. “It’s time to go.”

“On my way,” he yells from his office. I blush thinking of the dressing room we violated just a few hours ago. I’ve hadfun partners before, but never like this. Never someone who surprises me and makes me feel desirable for all that I am. I don’t have to force confidence, because he hasn’tonlyseen that side of me. He’s seen more than my strong moments, and it’s freeing to know that I don’t have to hold it all together in front of him.

I wander around the stage, running my hand over the various pieces of equipment and instruments before reaching the drum set at the back of the stage. I trace the edge of the cymbal Dylan told me is called a hi-hat. I lightly tap my fingernail against the brass finish.

“Did you catch the bug from Emi?” Dylan asks, meeting me on stage, stopping on the other side of the drum set.

“Nah, I think I’ll watch from the audience when you two decide to go on tour and wow the masses.”

He sits and pats his thigh. “Come on. I’ve never known you to shy away from a challenge.”

I raise an eyebrow. “A challenge? I thought you were smarter than that. You know better than to challenge me on anything.”

“I’m feeling braver since I got between your thighs. Like I put myself in the eye of the storm and came out stronger.”

My jaw drops and he laughs, loudly, the sound reverberating off the walls. Damn, those acoustics. I wish I could say his overconfident teasing was annoying, but my body and I apparently find it sexy because I sit in his lap without a fight. Warmth spreads over my skin as he slides his palms down my thighs, resting them just above my knees.

“Grab the sticks,” he murmurs in my ear.

“It’s you and me, which means there’s only one stick here. Who’s joining us?” I make a show of looking around, and he pinches my ass and bites my shoulder, sending sensations buzzing along my skin. I gasp. “Careful. Your possessive side is showing.”

He shrugs like he couldn’t care less that he’s showing his hand. “I don’t share.”

“Greedy.”

“You fuckin’ bet. Now grab the sticks. Thedrumsticks.”