Page 78 of Playing the Backbeat

What the fuck are we doing?

Ending up in bed together once could be considered an accident. Sexual tension between two people sharing living space. Weddings. Booze. It all adds up to a perfectly understandable slipup. But this…sex in the light of day, choosing to be with each other, talking and laughing in bed together, naked, but comfortable. It means more.

I know it means more.

I have no idea if she’s willing to admit it too. If she’s even willing to see it.

“Happy to break the streak for you,” she whispers, but there’s no levity to her words. It’s not funny, because it’s real.

“Do you want to come with me?” I ask, unable to stop the question, asking her the moment it pops into my head.

That snaps her out of whatever thought had her looking at me like that. “To your family’s Christmas party?”

“Yeah. I went to Nana’s birthday party.”

“That was a great time, and you know it,” she says.

“It was. Looking forward to next year. She made me promise to be there for her ninety-first.”

“I made her promise me first,” Dee says. I remember. Nana laughed so long she threatened to call it a life well lived right then and there. “Yeah, I’ll go with you. If you come with me to Cleveland on Christmas.”

“I’ll go with you under one condition…”

“Which is?”

“You have to help me find a Christmas gift for your family today.”

“Ditto.” She burrows deeper into my side and we lie like that for so long we nearly fall asleep. Her voice startles me when she asks. “Should we tell people that we…”

“Made sweet, sweet love?”

She flicks my nipple and I chuckle, threading my fingers through her hair before letting my fingertips trail lazily up and down her spine.

“You made an embarrassing question feel worse somehow,” she mumbles.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” I kiss her forehead. “I’m okay telling people or keeping it to ourselves for now. Whatever you want.”

She lifts her head to look at me, resting her chin on my chest.

“I don’t think we should tell anyone until after the trip. This is still about Bec and Aiden.”

I consider her for a moment. First, she saves the news of her layoff until after Ellie and Dom renewed their vows, and now this.

“You’re a really good friend, Dee.”

“Woooooow, just friends? Are you breaking off our situationship while I’m stillnaked? I didn’t think I was that rusty…”

I laugh and she bites the skin on my side.

“Ow, you little gerbil.”

“A gerbil?” She gasps, affronted.

“Yeah, have you ever been bitten by one? Hurts like shit.” She goes to bite me again, but I place my hand over her mouth. She bites my palm instead. “Jesus, Dee.” I laugh. “What I meant was you’re being really selfless. Always thinking of the girls first.”

“Oh.” She stops fucking biting me for a second, looking uncomfortable at the compliment. “Well, I’d do anything for them. I want them to have the best.”

“I love that about you,” I whisper against her temple, placing a gentle kiss there before pulling her head to rest against my chest again.