Page 46 of Playing the Backbeat

She skips off to my room to get ready in my attached bathroom.

When she’s out of earshot, I do my best to stay calm while looking for answers. “What happened, Dylan?” I whisper.

He abandons his own spoon in his bowl, leaning back, his palms on the carpet behind him, shoulders tense, and a worried look on his face. “Almost as soon as you were out of sight, that song she was waiting for all night started up.”

“Did she lose her mind?”

“In true Dee fashion. You would have been proud.” His smile lessens my worry for a moment before he sobers. “She must have spotted the girls somewhere between the dance moves you passed along to her, and she…Dee, she completely shut down. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“They were making fun of her?” I know it in my gut before he nods to confirm it. My eyes close and my heart sinks. Helplessness washes over me and I hate every second of it. “Fuck. She’s been having a hard time this year with a small group of girls in her class.”

“What’s going on?” The anger in his voice validates everything I’m feeling, but I can’t have him flying off the handle. I want to do that enough on my own without his encouragement.

“Just a couple of bullies. Kids can be mean, you know that. They’ve said some shitty things to her. Excluded her from parties and hangouts.” I shrug. “You know how it is. Morgan and Kai have talked with the teacher about it, to make her aware of what’s happening, but at the end of the day, they’re doing what they can to keep open communication with Emi. To help build up her confidence and resilience because sometimes people are just going to be shitty, and we’re here to catch her when that happens and make sure it doesn’t go too far.”

“I don’t remember kids acting like that when I was her age. It wasn’t that bad for us, right?” He seems genuinely confused. I don’t answer right away, watching my spoon as I swirl it around in my mostly melted ice cream. Dylan notices. “Dee? What’s going on?”

“I was bullied.” His head rears back, surprise written across his features. “I wouldn’t say it was anything necessarily worse than what Emi’s experienced. But it went on for a few years.” I shrug, not sure what to say. Not wanting to admit that even as an adult, some of those scars still ache.

“I never would have guessed. You’re so…” His voice trails off as he studies me.

“Annoying? Brazen? Outspoken? Opinionated?” I scoff.

“Confident.” His stare turns angry. “I was going to say confident, Dee. What the fuck?”

“Come on, Dylan. It was a joke.”

“Well, I’m not joking.” My heart races at the seriousness in his tone. He looks pissed. Turns out a little self-deprecation wasn’t the answer he was looking for.

“Yeah, well, when you hear the insults one too many times, you start to turn them into weapons of your own.” I shrug. “Iguess I felt like if anyone saw me as not enough, I was going to become too much. Fuck them if they didn’t like it.”

“I don’t understand how anyone would see you and not love what they find.”

My startled breath hitches and my eyes catch his before he stands abruptly, taking his bowl and Emi’s to the kitchen, dropping them both in the sink, leaving me sitting on the floor alone. Left to wonder what the fuck he meant.

Chapter twenty

Dylan

“Ed’s here,” Vicki says, skipping greetings altogether as I walk into the Bridge for our monthly inventory shift. We still have a few hours before tonight’s show, but the added responsibility usually makes for a long day.

I’m still processing everything that happened last night, and everything Dee shared with me after the show, but apparently life isn’t going to wait for me to get my mind right. I left our apartment early, giving Dee the morning with Emi, and giving myself time to think.

I had no idea Dee was bullied. She didn’t go into much detail about what happened, but I guess I didn’t give her the chance. When she told me, all I could picture was Emi and what happened at the concert. That was bad enough. Imagining Dee in her place when she was young? Fuck. I had to get out of there.

Growing up, I was lucky. My anxiety and all that came with it left me vulnerable to that kind of treatment. I guess I was decent at keeping that part of myself hidden because my peers never noticed.

For better or worse, the shit swirling in my mind normally stays there. And masking became second nature to me. That is, until I came home. Which is why Dee knows more about me now than I ever planned on showing her.

I guess the same can be said about me too. I’m sure she never planned to share this with me. I’m glad she did…I just wish I had handled it better. Now, I’m worried I won’t get the chance.

“Thanks, Vic.” I nod. “He said he’d be dropping in this week.” I don’t show my irritation that he didn’t tell mewhenhe was going to show up, considering how little he’s here in person. Everything is left up to me. And it hasn’t bothered me, until now.

She watches closely as she adds, “He’s not alone. A guy is with him. Business type. Uptight as fuck too.”

My back straightens and my grip on my keyring tightens before I start fiddling with the metal rings, spinning them loosely at my side.

Has he already found a buyer? Without even asking me if I could match it? He knows I’m interested. I can make him a fair offer, but I’m not sure I can outbid whoever the fuck it is he’s finding to secure his retirement.