Page 106 of Playing the Backbeat

Everything about Dylan is a contradiction. If I saw him on the street, I wouldn’t know how funny and playful he is. If it weren’t for him letting his guard down around me, I wouldn’t have known he struggles with intrusive thoughts. If it weren’t for his actions, I wouldn’t realize how thoughtful he can be. And I want him more, seeing it all…knowing him at his core.

“To be with the woman I love,” he says with longing so deep, it settles over me and melts with my own.

“Should we give her a call then?” I laugh and he shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” I bite my lip to keep myself from making another ill-timed joke. “I couldn’t help myself.”

The grin that overtakes his face has my heart racing. “I loveyou, Dee. For longer than you realize. For longer than I even realized. You’ve set my veins on fire and I know you’re the only one who can put it out.” He reaches for me, pulling me into his arms. “I miss sharing my dessert with you.”

“I haven’t had a cookie in weeks. I have no idea where you got yours, but they’re the best.”

“I miss picking up your mail piles.”

“They’re fuckingeverywhere. I didn’t realize how many I made. It’s like I’m being buried alive by postage. I never send mail, who is trying to reach me for Christ’s sake?”

“I miss pulling popcorn out of your hair. I miss pulling you away from your doom show so that I can turn on mine.”

“We can’t both crash out at the same time. We’ll need some kind of schedule…”

“I miss your damn cat haunting the apartment, stealing the Fancy Feast in the dead of night like some kind of superspy.”

“There is no cat.”

“What the fuck?” He rears back, staring down at me. “There’s no cat?!”

I shake my head, becoming hysterical at the sight of his shock and disbelief. He laughs too, wiping tears from his eyes. “Goddamn, you’re going to have to let my mom down easy. She really wanted to meet the little guy.”

“She was in on it,” I confess.

“My own mother…”

“I didn’t mean to put her under my spell. It just sort of happened…”

“You have that effect on people. I’ve been under your spell for a long time now, and I don’t ever want to wake up.”

“I love you too, Dylan.” I thought the fear I’ve been battling would rage, shaking my insides as I said the words, but all I feel is relief. That I can finally tell him how I feel and know my heart is safe with him. “I love your abs.”

He lifts his shirt, raising an eyebrow.

I groan. “God, that’s the good stuff.”

He laughs and wraps me tighter in his arms, swinging me around so quickly, I let out a yelp and grip his neck, hiding my face in his shoulder.

“I love your selflessness,” I add, unable to stop now. “I love that you are the first to jump in to help, and the last to ask for anything in return. I love that you see me for who I am. I love that you show up every day, and even when it’s not easy, you keep going. Which is why I need to ask you…Do you want to be my roommate?” I ask.

“No, Deanna Perry. I don’t want to be your roommate.” He sets me back on the stage and drops his hands to my hips, his thumb rubbing small circles as he drops a kiss to my forehead. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Who lives with me?”Please say yes.

“If you’ll have me back, I’d move in tonight and never leave.”

“I was scared,” I admit. “You were right about that. But I want to be brave because of you. Come home,” I demand, before lifting onto my toes, stealing his mouth in a soft kiss.

“You’re my home,” he rasps before he devours me, this kiss full of need and longing and relief and love.

Epilogue

Dylan

“Okay, no pressure, but there’s a lot riding on this going well. So, if you could just be cool, then I think we’ll both get through this, all right,” I say, pleading with her.