Page 41 of Tempt Me-

Considering I woke her during the night, her explanation makes sense.I believe her… up until she heads for the room with her suitcase and not my bedroom in order to lie down and rest.

***

Mia

I stretch outon the bed I’ve yet to sleep in and stare at the ceiling.I know I overreacted and didn’t make any sense to Austin, not when I refused to take his hand or when I chose this room in which to nap.I caught the surprised look on his face when I didn’t go to his bedroom to lie down.

What could I say to him, though?That when he held out his hand, out of sight from his mother and Bailey, I was smacked in the face with the reminder that our relationship is a secret?Will remain a secret?That I’m not his girlfriend, and I shouldn’t be spinning ideas about the future just because he held my hand when we walked through the woods?Or talked about him sharing the holidays with me and me seeing his family traditions?Or how incredibly intense sex with him just happens to be?

I raise my head, punch the pillow, and turn onto my side.Although I can’t rationalize all of my actions, like the hand-holding in the woods, I can, however, justify why he keeps our joined hands out of view of his daughter.Bailey is used to me as her nanny.Seeing me hold hands with her daddy would only confuse her… and maybe even cause the little girl to spin stories of her own, thinking we are more of a family than is accurate or true.

With the weekend ending soon, it isn’t too soon to start putting my own walls back in place.And if Austin pushes me for answers on my withdrawal… well, the truth will suffice.Because I have no doubt he doesn’t want a relationship in the true sense of the word.And I am at risk of losing my heart to the man.The same heart that warns me I already did.

I don’t realize I’ve fallen asleep until I woke up to a knock on my door.I roll over.The sun has gone down, and the room is dark, no light from the windows streaming through.

“Come in!”I push myself upright in bed.

Austin opens the door.“Light,” he says before he hits the wall switch and the nightstand lamp turns on.

I blink, my eyes adjusting.He walks into the room, having changed into his favorite relaxing outfit, a pair of black track pants and a random tee shirt.Today’s says Alpha on the front… and Security on the back.He always looks sexy, especially now, with wind-tousled hair he didn’t comb and a worried look on his handsome face.

“Sleep well?”he asks, stepping inside.

I nod.“I guess the fresh air really hit me hard.”

He settles on the edge of the mattress, leaning an arm near my hip and taking my hand in his.

His palms are warm as his fingers wrap around my hand.How do I feel such a simple touch throughout my entire body like I touched a live wire?

“I’d like to know what changed,” he says, his eyes locking onto mine, not letting me escape his probing gaze and the questions he has.“You froze up during that phone call and rushed to sleep… not in the bed we shared last night.”

I sigh, having anticipated his directness.Austin is a straight shooter.“It’s just… I was reminded of my place,” I say, choosing the simplest explanation.

“Your place.”His brow furrows.“I definitely don’t understand.”And he still holds my hand tightly in his.

I swallow hard and curl my legs beneath me.I gather my courage before speaking.“If I’m going to continue to be Bailey’s nanny, I can’t also be sleeping with you on the one hand and a secret we need to hide from everyone on the other.”I can’t emotionally handle it.

Sex with him taught me I’m not equipped for a casual fling.I never meant to send him mixed signals, leading him to believe an affair is okay with me when it isn’t.There is no way I could have anticipated the total way he took over my mind, my thoughts, and my heart after I got involved with him.

“It was amazing, Austin, but we can’t have an affair and expect life to go on as normal.We both want different things for our futures.It’s best to admit we got it out of our systems and go forward the way we began.As employer and employee.”

He stays silent, and I can’t read him.

“I’m sorry,” I say.“I thought I could do casual, but apparently it’s not in my DNA.”

Not that I really know what is in my DNA.I barely remember my parents, but sex for the sake of sex apparently isn’t part of my genetic makeup.

He stares at me for a good, long while, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think I hurt his feelings.But he can’t be hurt.That would mean our time together means something special to him and that would leave me thinking he wants more.Thoughts I can’t afford to have.Besides, if he is hurt, if he wants more, he’ll tell me and not let me end things.

“I have to respect your wishes,” he finally says, letting my hand slip out of his.

I feel the loss, an icy grip taking hold of my heart.“I appreciate that.”

He studies me, a frown on his face.“Just so you know… it’s not out of my system,” he mutters.“You’renot out of my system.”

He isn’t out of mine, either, but it is better to pretend that he is.No way will I admit to him that my biggest fear was getting attached to him—and I did.And of falling hard for him—and I did that, too.

***