Page 87 of Secrets in the Deep

His hands curled, and he turned and swung a fist into the wall. Paint and drywall splintered, pain shooting down his arm.

He didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything. She was gone.

Yet again, he’d fucked things up.

“You okay?”

He spun to see Zac in the doorway. “What are you doing here?”

“Nora messaged. Said you and Emily had a fight and you might need company.”

“I fucked up. And when she left, I didn’t stop her. I didn’t take back anything I said.”

Zac closed the door and moved into the kitchen. He switched off the stove, then turned back to him. “Why not?”

A quiet, humorless breath slipped from his throat. “Because I don’t want her being sued for me. I don’t want her losing her career for me. I’m not a safe bet.”Fuck. He’d never said those words out loud before.

“Ryan—”

“I have to go.”

“Where?”

“Out.”

He stormed passed Zac. When he reached his truck, he still wasn’t sure where he was going, just that he couldn’t be home, in the house where he’d just let everything he cared about slip through his fingers.

20

Emily cradled the hot chocolate between her fingers. The women talked around her, everyone spread out across Polly’s living room.

Nora. Maggie. Raven.

Somehow, Nora had convinced her to come to Polly’s house instead of going back to the inn. Maybe she’d agreed because she was tired. Or maybe she just wanted to be surrounded by strong women.

“I told him I was walking to the grocery store,” Raven started. “And he looked at me like I’d just said I was going to defuse a bomb in the gazebo.”

Polly laughed. “Sounds like Joel. I booked an appointment at a new hairdresser and he wanted to come. I said no, because…why? And he texted when I got there and asked if there was any ‘suspicious activity.’ I swear to God, those were his exact words, and I’m not sure if he was joking or not.”

The women laughed, and even though they were talking about their relationships and the men they loved, it was actually kind of nice. She hadn’t had a group of girlfriends since college, and all her friends since then didn’t joke like this.

“Well,” Nora started, lifting her hot chocolate, “your men sound completely unhinged, and I am happy to report that I don’t need to file a risk assessment just to buy milk or get a trim. The only person questioning my life choices is me, and evenI’mnot that particular about them. Well, the only person other than…” She stopped, her gaze finding Emily.

She offered a small smile. “It’s okay to say his name.”

There was a beat of silence before Polly asked the question everyone was probably thinking. “He really pulled the same stunt he pulled five years ago,again?”

“I actually felt like I was standing in my old apartment.” The women cringed. “I thought things would be different this time. I really thought he’d see it.”

“See what?” Maggie asked gently.

“That I don’t live this dream life that everyone thinks I do.”

The quiet that followed pressed in on the room, feeling thick and heavy.

Emily swallowed the lump in her throat before looking up. “I know how ungrateful that sounds. I’m very aware of how fortunate I am to have the job I have. The money I’ve made. Ishouldbe happy.”

“Sometimes we want something, but when we get it, it isn’t what we thought it would be,” Raven said quietly.