Page 36 of Secrets in the Deep

“No, you didn’t. You putyoufirst. Because you didn’t want to be blamed if I ever regretted my decision.”

“You would have resented me eventually.”

“Stop telling me what I would and wouldn’t have done! Stop telling me what I want and what I need! Juststop.” Sudden tears filled her eyes, and she knew this wasn’t the time to have this conversation. But dammit, the words just flowed out of her. “You think yougaveme something. You didn’t. You took it away. Youtook away my choice. You took the future I’d planned for us. And I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for that.”

“You would have chosen me.”

“Exactly. I wantedyou. But you just cut me out. You left. You didn’t even call or text after.”

He flinched. “I called. I texted.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“What are you talking about? I called the next day to make sure you were okay.” He inched closer. “The call didn’t go through. So I texted. I continued to text every week for months. Shit, I’ve sent you a dozen messages just in the last two weeks, and you haven’t responded once.”

Confusion shrouded her like a fog. She studied his face, his eyes, looking for signs he was lying.

There were none. He was telling the truth.

So what the hell had happened? And why was shestillnot getting his calls or texts?

Ryan watchedconfusion sweep over Emily’s face.

“You got my texts, didn’t you?” He wanted to touch her but kept his hands at his sides. “Tell me you got them, Emi.”

Her eyes flared. “It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change what you did. It wouldn’t change that you broke us.”

Broke us… The words felt like a physical blow, so swift and sharp he didn’t have time to brace.

It was true. Hehadbroken them. He knew that. So why did it hurt so fucking much to hear? Because standing here, under the glow of the moon, he could almost convince himself that he was back there. In that moment of time before he’d blown up both their worlds. Before the best part of his life had just disappeared.

He cupped her cheek, expecting her to push him away. Or step back or yell or scream at him. She did none of those things. She just stood there, looking so sad that he wanted to fix it. Put the pieces he’d shattered back together.

He leaned his head down and touched his lips to her ear. “Forgive me.”

“How?” Her warm breath whispered over his neck.

That was it, wasn’t it? He didn’t know, either. How did he earn her forgiveness when he didn’t even forgive himself?

He had no answer. So instead, he touched his lips to her skin, just beneath her ear.

An almost silent gasp escaped her lips.

He kissed her again, this time at her jawline.

She touched his stomach, small palms pressing to his shirt.

The kisses grew closer to her mouth, a gentle exploration of her skin. A re-familiarization of the only woman who’d ever owned his heart.

Before, finally, he found her lips. Then he was kissing her again. And God, but he felt whole. This was the only time he did. The only fraction of a second where he could forget what he’d lost.

Silence surrounded them. Everyone seemed to have left quickly. So he turned her. Pressed her against a nearby tree.

When he slipped his tongue inside her mouth and rolled it over hers, she moaned. And that sound, that fucking sound…it killed him. But the good kind of death. The one he’d happily give up the rest of his days for.

He ran his hand up her side, slipping beneath her shirt before cupping her breast.

This time she whimpered, and it lit a fire in his gut. He smoothed his palm over the small mound before yanking the cup of her bra aside and finding her nipple.