Page 51 of Shattered By the Currents

It wasn’t enough information, dammit. “I can’t protect you if I don’t know what I’m protecting you from.”

“I’m not asking you to protect me.”

Was she scared of what her ex would do to her? What he’d do to her parents? Or was there something else entirely at risk here?

“I don’t like secrets, Raven. I’ve been burned by them before, and I don’t want to go down that road again.”

After a pause, she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

That was it. That was all she said. Like if he wanted to be a part of her life, there were going to be secrets and he’d just have to deal with it.

He didn’t like it. He couldn’t have a repeat of what happened with Margaret. He wouldn’t survive it.

12

Tension thickened the air, and for long minutes, Raven had no idea what to say. Whatcouldshe say? Connor was clearly unhappy that she wouldn’t tell him more, but she couldn’t.

When he parked and they walked into his house, she wanted to break the silence. She wanted to say something,anything,to make his visibly tense muscles loosen.

But when she decided to tell him just a little bit of what happened to her, when those words sat on the tip of her tongue, fear pulled them back. Fear that Xander would find out. That he’d carry out the threats he’d made against her.

She followed Connor into his bedroom, not thinking about the fact that she’d never been in here or that he might not want her in his space. She forced out the same two words again. “I’m sorry.”

He stopped at his bedside table and took off his watch. “I don’t want you to be sorry, Raven.”

“What do you want?”

“The truth.” He turned toward her, his jaw clenched so hard the veins in his neck popped out. “I want to know what puts fearinto your eyes every time your ex-fiancé is brought up. I want to know why Nathaniel told me you’re not who I think you are. I want to know why your ex stole your money and has it out for you.”

Her heart pounded in loud, hard thumps. “You think you’re not asking for much. But if I tell you, people could get hurt.”

His frown deepened. For a moment he just stood there, like he was weighing whether he could accept that answer. Whether she was worth the weight of her secrets.

Don’t give up on me. The whispered words were a plea in her head. She neededsomeoneon her side.

He blinked and shot his gaze toward the bathroom door before running his fingers through his hair. “I’m going to shower.”

It wasn’t him disappearing into the bathroom that hurt the most. It was the click of the lock, yet she wasn’t quite sure why. Because it felt like he was shutting her out? Telling her, without saying the words, that he wanted all of her or none?

She swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to keep the tears at bay.

Why was she on the verge of crying? He wasn’t her boyfriend. If he decided he couldn’t cope with everything shewasn’ttelling him, that was his choice. Just like keeping secrets was hers.

Maybe the weight of everything that had been added tonight wastooheavy. The tracking device on her car, Nathaniel’s violence toward her.

She grabbed her stuff from the bedroom then went into the bathroom off the hall. She stayed under the stream of hot water for so long that thick fog filled the air and her fingers began to wrinkle. But that pit in her belly didn’t go away. It sat there like a stone.

God, she was tired of carrying it around. She was tired of feeling heavy and sad and angry all the time.

A tear tracked down her cheek. Then another. She let them fall, allowing them to mix with the water.

It felt good to cry. But it also didn’t. It felt like she was mourning something she didn’t quite understand. The relationship that could have existed between her and Connor? A future she’d likely never have with him?

Because that was what his silence tonight had meant, right? That he couldn’t handle her secrets. That he couldn’t be with her unless she gave him parts of her that she wasn’t capable of sharing.

Water hit her shoulders in a steady fall that should have drowned out her thoughts. They didn’t. Nothing probably could at the moment.

After what felt like forever, she turned off the shower and stepped out.