Page 60 of My Grumpy Alpha

He looks down at his engorged cock.

“You mean other than this?”

"Is that an invitation to slap it?” I say sweetly.

“And you’re out of your mind if you think I can take you again.”

"Then be insane for a bit.” He smiles. Damn him! He’s supposed to be grumpy, not protective and not horny as hell and better than anything I’ve ever had in my entire life.

I inspect my nails.

“So you’re saying if I have sex with you every full moon to keep the pain away, I’ll get a bonus, and paid vacation days, plus spending money for wherever I want to go?”

He will never go for this.

He nods his head and then leans down to my level, his face inches from mine.

“If you receive money, you become a prostitute.”

I lift my chin.

“I’m comfortable enough in my own body, needs, and wants to admit while that may be true, we both know it isn’t. I refuse to feel cheap for wanting to travel outside the city for the first time in my known life.”

Something flashes across his face, his eyebrows furrow.

“You’ve never been outside the city?”

“Not that I remember, no.”

“What do you remember?

" He gently pulls me into his arms then lifts me up until he’s at the perfect angle to slide into me, and he does it so slowly, so effortlessly while talking to me that I can’t help but let out a sigh and wrap my arms around his neck while he holds us under the water. He doesn’t even move right away, but I can tell he wants to. He simply stares down at me, water dripping down his face, waiting for an answer.

One I’m embarrassed to give, one I’m not ready to give to a stranger, so I do the next best thing than answering. I start moving myself up and down; I distract him.

And I see the pain in his eyes immediately, the pain that says, I’ll give you my body but you’ll never have anything else, this is a means to an end.

Plus, while I can’t remember all of my past, I know with the way that my heart cracks in my chest every time I think of him, and it’s always around this moment that I do, which is truly crazy. I used to love this… him, and yet I have zero memory. I used to have importance, and I’m still waiting for that person.

So sure, he can use my body, but I keep everything else.

He doesn’t kiss me this time, it’s like he’s disappointed when I know he doesn’t care about anything other than getting rid of the pain.

I do not ask invasive questions as he pushes me up against the shower wall and drives hard into me. My nails scar his shoulders and arms as he pins me there under the water.

And when we’re both satisfied. I realize I’ve made a huge mistake; he was asking for a small fragment of me; he was reaching out.

The only problem is, a woman without a past has no identity, a woman without a past can’t be reached, because how could she ever plan for her future when she doesn’t even know who she is?

At least that’s how I see it.

He may like what he sees, he may be attracted to me, but inside I am completely lost and hollow, strong and resolute, yes because I have no choice.

But I’m still on a path that doesn’t include him but a stranger I can’t remember and for that, I think I’ll always be broken.

Chapter 23

My Pimp