Page 14 of Rock Me

“Come on, princess.Let me up.”I push harder and lever myself away from her, breaking her hold on me at last.

No sooner have I turned back than she curls into herself and falls asleep.Ignoring the catch in my chest at the sight of her so vulnerable, I pull the blanket up and over her body, covering her and tucking her in for the night.

Then I shut off the lamp and head back to the couch for a cold, lonely night’s sleep.

***

Summer

I awake toa dull throb inside my head, and it hurts to open my eyes.My mouth tastes like cotton, and I groan.Too much wine.My bladder feels full, and I push off the covers and realize I’m wearing my bra and panties.I never sleep in my underwear.

And then I remember Ben walking me into my room and demanding I get into bed.

Make me, I said, taunting him.Teasing him.

So he grabbed me and put me into bed, and I pulled him down on top of me.

“Oh God.”I groan and put my head in my hands.

Well, it could have been worse.I could have stripped completely.It is the only bright side I can find to what was a completely embarrassing incident.

I change into an oversized sleep shirt and head for the bathroom, where I wash up and brush my teeth.I pull my hair into a messy bun and gather my courage around me before heading into the other room to face Ben.

He stands in the kitchen facing the counter, putting frozen waffles into the toaster oven.A pair of athletic pants rides low on his lean hips.He isn’t wearing a shirt, and even his back is muscular, tapering into his waistband.

He must sense me because he turns.“Good morning.”

“Morning.”I feel a heated blush rise to my cheeks.“Listen, about last night—”

He waves, dismissing my words.“Don’t worry about it.Want some waffles?”

“Sure.”I glance at the table, surprised to find orange juice already poured for us both.“Thank you.”

“I figured you’d wake up hurting.This was the best I could do.I’m not much of a cook.Not even eggs.”

“Waffles will be fine.I eat them all the time,” I say, touched by his desire to take care of me in some small way.

When the timer goes off, he serves us both waffles.Maple syrup is on the table, and I realize I’m starving.I cut into the waffles, and we eat in silence until we are both finished.

He pushes his plate aside, props his elbows on the table, and meets my gaze.“You were right the other night.It’s time we talked.”

I swallow hard.“Okay.”

“I should have taken your calls back then, but I was angry, and you were the best candidate to take that anger out on.”

I blow out a long breath.“I don’t blame you, really.You lost your job.But things between us were… intense before they blew up, and when you didn’t take my calls or reply to my texts, that hurt.”

Although we were together a short period of time, it meant something to me.Given how we didn’t have much contact with the outside world during the show, and I managed to see him often, my time with Ben was a whirlwind of intensity.

He wraps his hand around the glass in front of him.“I know.And I regret how I handled it and wish things had ended differently.But that time in my life taught me not to mix business with pleasure.I need to focus on my job, and that means however difficult it is for us to keep our hands to ourselves now, we have to do it.”

His words close any hope I might have been holding out for us to try again.I don’t like it, because I was truthful last night when I said that no man since has lived up to him.And not just sexually.But I appreciate that he spoke to me about things, and I respect both Ben and his work enough to stick to the boundaries he’s put in place.Even if it does cause a bit of disappointment.

“Don’t worry.I won’t throw myself at you again,” I say, raising my hand in a solemn promise.

A sad smile lifts his lips.“If things were different…” He shakes his head.“But they aren’t.I’m going to keep you safe, and when this is over, you’ll be going out into the world as a huge star.You won’t have time to think about me except as someone you once knew before you were famous.”

I shake my head, rise, and gather our plates, taking them to the sink to clean, unable and unwilling to face him, because he is wrong.I will think about him as more than someone I once knew.He is the one who got away.