Page 84 of The Fighter

“No.” That wasn’t a lie either. This wasn’t stupid. Risky? Sure. But not stupid. At least I hoped so.

For now, I savored the warmth of Tav’s body against mine, the feeling that I had all my fingers, toes, and teeth. No broken bones. An intact face.

Tav gripped my face, once again forcing me to look him in the eyes. “Don’t do this again.”

“Do what?”

“Keep things from me until it festers in you. I can see it in your eyes.” His thumbs rubbed my jaw. “Do you think I can’t handle it? I worked for Devlin for five years, Con. I’ve seen it all. I’m not weak.”

My breath left my lungs like I’d been punched. “Tav, the last thing I think you are is weak.”

“You stormed into my life and blew it up. I’m going to do the same to you.”

I barked out a dry laugh. “You think my life hasn’t blown up? I’m engaged in a street war with Devlin. I suddenly have a sort of sister-in-law and a four-year-old who calls me Uncle Rad. And then I have you—” I sucked in a breath. “And I have you. And you’re the biggest grenade of all.”

His eyes searched mine. “I don’t mean blowing up this.” He gestured vaguely at my apartment. “I mean in here.” He tapped my temple, and my stomach churned. Didn’t he know that my mind and heart was a war zone because of him too? I clung desperately to the man I’d been for the last ten years, and all the beliefs I’d built my life upon, but Tav’s two-toned gaze was setting fire to it all with a flame-thrower.

He pressed a soft kiss to the tip of my nose, a gesture so sweet that my throat felt tight. “We’re a team. We’re partners and equals, okay?”

That shame returned, burning through my gut like lava. Doubts swirled in my head. Would he ever forgive me for not telling him my plan? I had been so sure I knew what was best, but Ben often said I was too stubborn, too short-sighted to see the big picture.

Tav’s lips parted, and he sighed. “You’re thinking too hard.”

I was also tired, too tired to make a decision tonight. If I said anything now, we’d be up for hours, and I needed sleep. “Just tired,” I said, and that flipped the switch of his caretaker mode. After a soft kiss to my lips, he led me out of the bathroom and directly to the bed where he fussed with the covers until I was bundled up like a burrito.

Then he wrapped his arms around me and plastered our bodies together. “We’ll talk tomorrow,” he murmured. “Sleep, Con.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him everything. That Ididthink we were partners, that I saw him as an equal. That I wanted forever with them. That I… Ilovedhim. I loved him more than I thought I could love anyone, and that maybe I didn’t deserve him, but it was too late. He was mine now.

But my eyelids drooped, and sleep pulled me under. Tomorrow. I had tomorrow.

I woke up early, while the sun was still barely visible over the horizon. Tav was still asleep, face smushed into the pillow. I watched his back rise and fall, his angel wings seeming to flutter with every breath.

He’d been working out twice a day since his concussion symptoms had cleared, and the workouts combined with his hefty calorie intake meant he’d already added on pounds of muscle. His face was less gaunt, and his ribs barely showed at all. He’d started taking care of himself, and it showed from the glow of his skin to the brightness of his eyes. A swell of affection bloomed in my chest, and I pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder, lips lingering on his soft skin. I thought about waking him up, rolling him onto his back, and sucking him down my throat until he hardened and came, but I let him sleep instead. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and slipped from the bedroom without him stirring. In the kitchen, I made myself a coffee and stared out the windows of my apartment as the city bustled below despite the early hour.

I’d been so sure yesterday that keeping Tav in the dark about Soto’s next plans was the right thing to do, but not anymore. He deserved to know, and I had to respect his intelligence enough to tell him. He’d be furious, and he wouldn’t like it, but I owed it to him to have the conversation.

Already, my heart felt lighter. Knowing that today was going to be tough with Tav, I decided that buttering him up with his favorite breakfast would help. Tav on a full stomach was a much more rational person than Tav on an empty stomach.

As quietly as I could, I left my apartment, traveled down the elevator, and exited the doors of my building with a nod to the doorman. The weather was warming up each day, and while a chill remained in the air, I could feel spring just around the corner. The sun shone brightly, and I squinted up at it as I walked to the bakery two blocks away. Tav loved the cinnamon rolls fromGet Baked. The first time he’d eaten them, I swore he smelled like cinnamon the rest of the day, and I kept finding bits of sugary syrup on his clothes and in his hair. The thought made me smile, and I hid it behind the collar of my jacket. The streets were busy, people walking in all directions.

I spun the ring on my finger with my thumb. I hadn’t worn it last night around Tav, because I hadn’t wanted to answer questions about it, but I’d slipped it on this morning.

The bakery was crowded as it usually was, but the line moved quickly. I ordered two rolls—they were the size of my head—and clutched the bag full of warm treats to my chest as I made my way back to my apartment. Over cinnamon rolls, I’d come clean.

As I walked, I dialed Nik’s number. He answered after the first ring. “Conrad.”

“I changed my mind,” was the first thing I said.

There was a pause. “That’s a first.”

“I’m amenable sometimes,” I huffed.

He laughed at that, and I glared even though he couldn’t see me.

“All right, what did you change your mind about?” He slurped something, probably a sugary coffee.

“About Tav.”