Page 82 of The Fighter

“Yeah?” Nik’s jaw worked. “What if he sends your finger to us? What then, huh?”

I flexed my hand. “Then you put it in a jar for me. I’ll reunite with it when I can.”

“This isn’t fucking funny,” Nik spat.

“I’m not laughing,” I barked back. “But this is my decision. Devlin and I started this, and we’ll end it. One way or another.”

Laughter filtered through the glass doors of my office. Holden was standing on my kitchen island, stomping his littlesocked feet while Tav tried to tickle him. I wasn’t sure what that had to do with making cookies. Amara joined them, smiling wide as she snatched Holden off the island and spun him in the air while he squealed. Tav took a cookie off a pan and dropped it into his mouth and then flapped his hand in front of his face like the cookie was too hot.

“And what’re you going to tell him?” Nik said.

That was the million-dollar question that I’d asked myself over and over again until I felt like I was going to lose my mind. Tav confronting me over my relationship with Devlin had been nothing short of an axis shift for me. I hadn’t expected him to blame me for his situation, but I’d maybe expected some sort of censured look. But instead, he’d just been Tav—all open and honest and too damn understanding. But he didn’tgetit. He couldn’t. No one could understand like I did how badly I’d let down Devlin. And in doing so, the whole city.

So I speared Nik with a look that was all Soto. “Nothing.”

“Jesus, Conrad—” Ben began.

“He’s as protective of me as I am of him.” I stood at my full height, arms crossed over my chest. “And I told him that he’ll never have to fight again, that he’ll never have to follow Devlin’s orders, and I meant that. I don’t even want Devlin breathing the same air as him, but if Tav gets a whiff of our plan, he’ll try to stop it. He listens to me, but his obedience only goes so far, and I know him well enough to know it doesn’t gothatfar.” Tav would never accept this plan and telling him would force another conversation that I just didn’t want to fucking have. Nik and Ben could protest all they wanted, but in the end, they couldn’t stop me.

But Tav… even if he didn’t realize it, hehadthe ability to stop me. He weakened all my noble reasons until they were mud beneath my feet. So I couldn’t tell him, or I would never go through with this, and Devlin would never be stopped. Knowinghe was out there where he could hurt Tav and Amara was unacceptable to me.

“He stays in the dark. I mean it. Promise me.” I looked at each of them. “Promise me right now that no matter what, you’ll keep him safe and away from all of this. He’s been through enough.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed. “And you haven’t?”

“No,” I answered honestly. “I haven’t been through enough. Not even a fraction of enough.”

Ben rubbed his forehead. “You are not Devlin’s owner. He’s not your wayward dog that you didn’t train well enough, Conrad. He’s his own person. This is not on you.”

They were all a broken record. I was right about this. Iknewit. I ignored Ben and gritted my teeth. “Promise me.”

Nik wouldn’t look at me. His nostrils flared, and his only response was a tight head nod at the opposite wall. Ben sighed and braced his hands on his hips. “Yeah, fine, whatever.”

“Enthusiastic,” I muttered sarcastically.

“Oh, fuck off.” Nik rose from his chair, body tight. He finally looked at me, and the sorrow in his eyes floored me.

“Nik, I’m not dead or dying, and I won’t be anytime soon. Quit looking at me like that.”

He shook his head before reaching in his pocket and holding out a ring. “The tracker in this is good for years. Worst case, swallow it. We can still get the signal when it’s in your gut.”

I took it from him and slipped it on my finger. “How did you test that?”

He finally gave me a mean grin. “That’s why Cameron got a bonus last week. Don’t worry,” he gestured at the ring on my middle finger. “It’s been well-sanitized.”

I laughed, but the tone was off. I didn’t feel jolly, even at the thought of Cameron shitting out a tracker ring. “Thank him for his service.”

“What if Devlin doesn’t take the bait?” Nik asked.

Ben answered before I did, his expression grim. “Trust us, Devlin will take the bait.”

That night, I fucked Tav in the kitchen surrounded by the remnants of chocolate chip cookies, and then again in the bed before we fell asleep. I couldn’t seem to get deep enough inside of his body, and I clutched him desperately as I bit down on his shoulder while I came hard. He was a mess, his cock soft after three orgasms and his chest glistening with his cum. He watched me through hazy, half-lidded eyes as I sat on the bed and cleaned him up, feeling reverent as I ran the cloth over his muscled chest.

His fingers circled my wrist. “Hey.”

I couldn’t look him square in the eyes. I settled for somewhere on his cheek. “Hey back.”

He tugged, not to move me, but to get my attention. “Look at me.”