Page 25 of Mr. Calloway

His heartbeat picked up. “Why are we always going through shit? Why can’t we catch a fucking break?”

It broke my heart because I knew he was tired, and I was too. However, I realized the man I was with came with a lot of broken pieces, and getting a break wasn’t always an option. I’d been a part of every challenge he faced since meeting him, and just as much as he wanted to be free, I wanted it just as badly.

Swerve, lean, gear switch, speed up.

He was going so fast that if for any reason I decided to let go, my ass would fly off the bike. Our forty-minute ride took twenty.

When we got to Yana and Diamond’s, June had barely stopped the bike before we both hopped off and rushed to thedoor. It didn’t take long for someone to answer. June didn’t even give Diamond time to say anything.

“Where is my son?” he shouted.

Yana approached us with a sleeping, sweaty Savior. I could tell something was wrong with my baby. I could feel it in my gut, and that alone spoke volumes. The mother instinct was real, so I knew if this feeling came over me for my son, the feeling I felt about Samara’s mother had to be right.

June rushed out of the house and down the street. I met him by the curb when he later pulled up with the Caprice. Placing Savior in a car seat didn’t even cross my mind as I hopped in the passenger side with him still in my arms. I left Peace with Yana since he was asleep; the only good thing was that they were both too young to know what was going on.

I rocked Savior in my arms while I planted kisses on his sweaty little forehead. Tears began rolling down my face because the last thing we needed was to lose a child. Although Peace didn’t understand now, how would I explain when he got older and felt like a part of him was missing?

God promised me He would protect my family when I promised Him He could share my heart with June. I hoped He kept his end of the bargain because if He didn’t, not only would I no longer be useful, but June would turn into a different kind of beast that no one needed.

June’s Entry

Place: Hospital

Year: 2025

Time: 11:45 pm

The mother of my children,

Damn, girl. You did that shit like a champ. The way you carried the birth of our twins like a queen is something I will never forget. Trusting me to help deliver our fucking seeds was something I didn’t think would happen in my lifetime.

As I sit here and watch you and the boys sleep, a nigga’s heart feels so full. Z, this is some shit I never felt before. This is a different type of love, some next-level type of love, a love I never want to not feel. I have a family, something to call my own, and coming from a place of nothing, this can only be described as royalty.

Then, Samara has taken on the last name of a man who doesn’t exist. How will I tell her? Huh? That shit breaks my heart because she really sees us as her parents. It’s crazy because she and I are somewhat alike; the only difference is that she doesn’t have to go her entire life without knowing what genuine family feels like because we are that for her. I fucks with it.

Damn.

As I watch Peace and Savior, I think about all the things I want to be for them. I want to be the type of father who watches them grow, step by step. I don’t want to miss anything. I want to show them that fear should never exist because as long as I can, I will take their fear on. Show them that love does exist and that although we may give tough love, it doesn’t mean we love them any less.

I’m scared for my little Black sons. I’m scared for their life experiences, their trials, and their safety. You know, I don’t really deal with my fears much, but being a parent, this shit is almost instant. Fuck, Z, I… I…

You know what? I will say it in the next letter because saying what I have to in this moment just doesn’t feel right. I just hope cancer doesn’t find my kids. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy—well, maybe Clark, but not my fucking kids.

Baby, every day I have breath in my body, I will keep our family safe. That is my muhfuckin’ word.

Thank you, Zaria, for trusting me to be your kids' father. Thank you for trusting me with your heart. Thank you for taking a little broken hood nigga and showing him what love looks like on the other side. Thank you for pushing this boy to become a man.

I love you. I love you, and I’ll love you all over again.

Signed,

Mr. Fucking Calloway… I guess.

PRESS PLAY

My eyes openedto the dull room that held no life. This wasn’t the plan when I decided to return to the home Cynthia and I shared. She refused to say a word to me while I was simply trying to explain.

I got up from the bed, put on my slippers and robe, and made my way out of the room. Despite her not wanting to speak to me, she no longer had that choice. Cynthia owed me her life, and if she thought it would be that easy to get rid of me, she never truly knew the man she married.