Page 8 of Love Expert

“To make tea?” He dashes to the edge of the porch. “Want company?”

“No, thank you.”

ROUND FOUR

BILLY

“I can already hear you nagging at me.” I come to a stop on lush green grass while, twenty feet away, Jeremycarefullykicks his soccer ball around. Setting a bright display of daisies in the small vase built into the front of Aria’s headstone, I lower into a crouch and chuckle. “I know what you’re gonna say, so don’t even bother.”

You were mean, Billy!

“You’ll say I should’ve explained rather than lost my cool. That my tendency to assume the worst about people sucks.”

She was worried about our son, Billy!

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I snap a blade of grass and pinch it between my fingers. “He dropped the hammer on my dick, babe. Nearly made me cry, and you know me. I can’t cry in front of him. So I sent him outside to play before that dumb dishwasher pushed me over the edge.”

“Hey, Dad! Look!”

I glance over my shoulder and watch him kick the ball two feet into the sky, then try to follow it with a second kick… but miss.

“Hang on!” He tries again. Up. Down. His foot swings up for a second, but he misses. “I can do five, Dad! Swear. Just keep watching.”

“Feels kinda unfair that you left me here all alone to deal with dishwashers and hammer incidents.” I lower to my ass, Aria’s headstone on my left, and my son, still stuck on kick number one, on my right. “You didn’t change a single diaper. And you haven’t stayed awake all damn night to talk him through a storm. Those things terrify the shit out of him.”

Cos I wasn’t there to do it, dummy. I was here.

“Laziness,” I smirk, shaking my head from side to side. “You could’ve just said no to diaper duty.Especiallysince you’d just finished baking the baby. You didn’t have to actuallydieto avoid spending literally another second with me. I would’ve understood.”

“Hang on, Dad! I almost got it.”

One.

One.

One.

“So… Magnolia Sava moved in next door.” I drop my blade of grass and select another. “What kinda cruel karma bullshit is that, huh? Bet you and Patrice are up there giggling about it all.”

One.

One.

One.

“I’ll get it in a sec, Dad! Are you still watching?” He looks across to make sure I am. “Keep watching!”

“Joke’s on you, because her opinion of me, my bad manners, and my crap parenting are pretty much set, especially after I beaned Jeremy in the face with a baseball last night. He was supposed to be paying attention, but Maggie pulled up in her car and distracted him. Next thing we knew, my pitch landed square in his face and bloodied his nose. Now Maggie’s ready to have CPS take our baby away.”

“Dad! I did it! I did two. Did you see?”

Shit. Fuck. No. “Yeah, buddy! I totally saw it.” I stretch my smile as wide as it goes. “Well done. Can you do it again?”

“Yeah!” One. One. One. One. Zero. “Keep watching!”

“I rarely begrudge you this ‘me time’ you’ve committed to, but I could do with a little extra sleep, and maybe a new identity, since my neighbor probably already has me on a child abuse watchlist somewhere.”

One. One. One. Two.