Page 82 of Love Expert

“Hi, Maggie!” Jeremy sprints from his dad’s bedroom to his, shirtless and wild. He’s a bit like that boy from the cartoon. Donny Thornberry. “Wait for me, Maggie!” He slams his door and stomps around his room. “Wait for me! I’m gonna get dressed, then I’ll be ready and I can hang out with you all the way till I have to go to school.”

“I’m not sure I have?—”

His door bursts open again, and he races out with just one jean leg pulled on, the rest of the denim dragging on the floor. He battles with a shirt, his body all twisted up in the fabric, and he wears one sock, carrying the other in his hand. He trips his way to the top of the stairs and risks his life with a bright smile. “I got another loose tooth.” He shoves his sock-holding fingers into his mouth and gives the tooth a wiggle. “That’s three in a month, Maggie!”

“That’s a lot.” I block the top of the stairs and help him pull his shirt down. “The tooth fairy probably doesn’t even need a map to get to your house anymore, huh? She’s been here loads of times now.”

“She keeps leaving me money, too.” He presses his sock into my hand and goes to work fixing the other half of his pants. “The cleaner my tooth is, the more money she leaves.”

“I think that’s a fantastic reason to brush really well.”

“Uh-huh! And if I keep going the way I’m going, I’ll be rich. Then I can give you all my money so you don’t have to work anymore.” He drags his jeans up and releases the elastic waistband on his hips. “If I pay your bills, you won’t have to. And if you don’t have to worry about them, then you can stay with me more. I don’t even like brushing my teeth.” He steals his sock back. “But I’ll do better from now on. I promise.”

ROUND THIRTY-ONE

MAGGIE

My phone beeps with texts from Billy as I drive to Barlespy, the chime of each incoming message interrupting my music, then the robotic voice following next, emotionlessly reading his words out to me.

Drive safely.

Jeremy asked if we could watch a movie together tonight after you’re done working.

He offered to make mini pizzas for dinner. You interested?

Did you swing by the drugstore? It’s important you get it done as soon as possible.

I know those pills really screw with a woman’s body. I promise not to be so careless in the future. I have no excuse, I just really, really wanted you. I’m sorry.

My breath comes out on a shuddering exhale, the warmth hitting my windshield and creating a fog that takes a second to clear. Then my phone dings again, but from ‘Happily Ever After. AKA:BJs and Chill’.

Alana:

So, I’m not saying I heard certain things at school drop-off today, but I’m saying Jeremy Caster bragged to my son that Maggie Sava slept in his dad’s bed last night.

Fox:

What??? The one time I don’t come along for a ride, and I miss out on all the juicy gossip?

Alana:

I’m totally on board, and I’m thrilled Billy FINALLY got the girl. He’s worked so hard for this. But perhaps you two could sit Jeremy down and talk to him about discretion.

Because now my autistic son knows about Miss Maggie’s purple underwear, and ya know what? I’m sure they’re lovely underwear, and honestly, he’s seen me in mine, so it’s not a big deal. But if Jeremy’s announcing this stuff on the playground, then the whole town will know before close of business today.

Oh my God.

Kill me now.

Fox:

Break it to me, ladies. Once my baby arrives, how often am I not gonna get laid because of those little eyes?

Alana:

Often enough to make you desperate. But then you’ll find sneaky new ways to get some, and being sneaky is fun, too. You’ll figure it out. You’ve had loads of practice with Franky around.

Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars’ voices grow louder between texts, then soften again so Siri can announce each new incoming message. They sing of the forever kind of love. The purest, sweetest, enduring kind of love. But although such a song used to make my heart swell with contentment, now all it does is replicate that bully who used to sit on my chest forever ago.