Page 60 of Love Expert

“Well, yeah?—”

“That’s not a small deal!” Wide-eyed, Alana looks at Fox. “He didn’t tell us. What a sneak!”

“If you wanna date him, do it,” Eliza presses. “Jesus. Finally, we’re getting somewhere?—”

“I don’t want to date him!”Wait… do I?“He was out with one of my matches on Thursday night. He got back late, and I guess I fell asleep on the couch. Next thing I knew, I woke up yesterday morning with Jeremy’s nose almost touching mine. He said they didn’t want to send me home alone, so Billy put me in his bed and he slepton the couch.”

“Jeremy slept on the couch?”

“No! Jeremy slept on the floor beside my bed, because he didn’t want me to be lonely. Billy slept on the couch. Oh my God.” I crush my eyes with the heels of my palms. “Jeremy didn’t technically lie, but he’s just a kid. He doesn’t understand the implications of his words. This is such a mess,” I whimper. “Everyone will think we… Billy and I…” Kill me now. Please! Put me out of my misery. “He was dating someone else that night, I swear.”

Eliza hitches herself onto the edge of the hot tub. She wears jeans and a floaty top, her long blonde hair tied into a ponytail so the ends dangle to the middle of her back. “Whatexactlyare you looking for when you’re finding these love matches, anyway?”

“What?”

“Humor me. Please. You’re shopping for women… what are the parameters of your search?”

I slide my gaze across the yard and stop on the duo as they stand together, Ramone’s head thrown back and loud laughter bouncing through his chest.

“Maggie?”

“Um…” My voice crackles and tickles my throat on the way out. “T-twenty-nine to thirty-five years old. He likes eyes, so I pay attention to those.”

“What does he like in a pair of eyes?” Alana questions. “Specifically.”

“He likes them large. Expressive. He has a habit of reading all the things a woman isn’t saying, and he does that by looking into her eyes. He prefers darker, earthy tones, like brown and hazel. Olive green. Gold. He’s less drawn to the blues and grays.”

“What about hair?” Fox questions. “Color? Length?”

“Brunette,” I rasp. “The darker, the better. But not black. He doesn’t dislike blonde—” I study Alana and Eliza, both with their blue and blonde features. “It’s not that he has a problem with that, but he prefers women who are brown and brown.”

Eliza’s lips quirk into a grin. “Height?”

“He hasn’t really expressed a preference, but the dates I’ve lined up so far tend around the five-seven range. I saw photos of him and Aria. In almost all of them, he rests his chin by her forehead.” I shrug. “I dunno. I figured he liked that. Probably makes him feel more protective, wrapping around her the way he did.”

“Personalities?” Fox presses. “I know he’s not into arrogant loudmouths like Eliza.”

“Hey!” Eliza swings her leg forward. “Everybody loves me.”

“He likes them quieter. But strong. She must be firm in her beliefs, or he’ll walk right over her, and even when hesayshe wants submission, what he actually wants is a woman whocouldbe submissive, but has a spine anyway. Someone who maychooseto be submissive to him in the, uh…” Warmth floods my cheeks, rushing like a tidal wave into my stomach and leaving behind a wash of nerves. “In certainprivatecircumstances. But she must be able to speak her mind, or he’ll get bored, and even if he disagrees with a decision she’s made, if she flops and defers to him, he’d consider her weak and vapid. He likes them to have brains, so I’ve been selecting women who use their intellect in a positive way. Business owners, educators, that sort of stuff. He appreciates soft fabrics. Dresses that aren’t necessarily form-fitting, but form-accentuating. He’s mentioned their outfits during every single debrief so far. I’ve noticed a pattern in the outfits he smiled about more.”

“Right.” Fox clicks her tongue. “So brown hair.” She grabs a lock of my hair, “and golden eyes. Business owner, back-talking, steely-spined, intellectual.”

“And stands about five-seven,” Alana finishes. She places her hand on top of her head and grins. “Five-six.” Then she presses her hand to the top of Fox’s head. “Five nine.” Finally, she looks my way. “You land right there in the middle, no?”

“Yeah. You basically just described yourself,” Eliza snickers. “Maggie. Honey. Wake up and smell the sex pheromones in the air.”

“What?”

“You’re searching high and low for you! You’re shopping for brown-haired, brown-eyed girls, and completely ignoring the one you see each day in the mirror.” Sliding off the edge of the hot tub, Eliza takes a threatening step closer. “It’s you, doofus! Set him up withyou.”

“No! I can’t?—”

“You can’t possibly tell me you haven’t thought about it,” Fox huffs. “You’ve been discussing dateable women for weeks already, you’re in his house late at night, and now you’re attending a barbecue together.” She flattens her lips and glances straight over my shoulder.

Horrified, I twist as subtly as I can and stop on Jeremy’s sweet face smiling right back at us.

“You look like a family unit to me. His kid is head over heels in love with you.”