Page 21 of Love Expert
“I just think you’re doing an amazing job!”
Date number one, two, three, four, and five cry for me. They fuckin’ sob.
Oh my gosh,Aria this, and oh my gawd,Aria that.
“Single dads are so sexy!”
“You’re a police detectiveanda widower?! It’s just so tragic!”
“How do you juggle parenthood and police work?”
“How do you date with a little boy at home?”
“Do you wish you could find the love of your life and bring her into his life?”
“Does Jeremy cry for a mom?”
“I bet he’s just desperate for a lady to cuddle with!”
“Ya know what, Detective?” The instant I flop onto the chair opposite Eliza, she snarls, “Give me your gun. I wanna shoot myself.” Surging forward, she snatches my beer and tips the three-quarters full bottle back, chugging, chugging, chugging until it’s empty, then she slaps the bottle back onto our table and burps. “I know every single one of these dudes, and theyallhave some weird let’s-wrestle-in-bed fetish. None of ‘em are brave enough to say that shit to me literally any other day, but lump a hundred thirsty guys into one room, and suddenly they’re talking sex dreams.”
I crush my hands to my eyes and smother my yawn before it takes me under. “I got a bunch of women who want to stroke my hair and sing my son a lullaby.”
“Thisis why I travel to get laid.”
“Eliza!” Ollie barks from three tables ahead. “Quit it!”
“I don’t wanna quit it, Oliver! I wanna be ravaged by a man who knows what he’s doing. But here we are in a room full of singles, and my best options are my freakin’ brother, a couple of married twins, a possible trip over to the ladies’ side, or…” She brings her eyes back to mine. “A cop who might’ve changed my diapers twenty years ago.”
“Definitely changed your diapers,” I grumble. “Definitely not gonna ravage you. Sorry, kid.”
“S’okay, I suppose.” She lets out a breathy sigh. “I could always slap an Uber sticker on the back of my head and call it a day.”
A buzzer sounds, and men shuffle, so I snatch my empty beer bottle and stand with a tired grunt. “Catch ya later, Lizey Loo.” I ruffle her hair and earn a feral hiss from the depths of her throat. “Make good choices.” I wink and trudge right, then I drop in front of Rose and flash a bright grin. “You’re not gonna cry about my dead wife, are ya?”
She settles back in her seat, a glass of wine pinched between her fingers, and a playful smile curling her lips. “You’re not gonna cry about my dead brother, are you?”
“Naw. Hardly even knew the bloke.”
She chokes out a soft snicker and adds a brief note to her papers.
“Ollie keeps staring at you.” I peek three seats along and smirk at his beady-eyed glare. “He’s got a problem with sharing his girl?”
“He can be a little possessive sometimes.” She brings bright eyes up to mine. “Fall in love yet?”
“Nah. But I flirted with Remi for a sec. It was the best entertainment I’ve had in a while. You?”
She clicks her tongue. “I’ve written a few names down, just in case, ya know? Having options is important, especially for a home-wrecking scam artist like me.”
“Mmhm.” I snatch up her notepad and scan her scribbles. “Ollie. Ollie. Ollie. Ollie. Alana, cos she’s cute. Eliza, cos she’s badass. Clifford, but he’s my boss, so it’s more of a brotherly thing.Oh look,Igot a mention.” I spin the book around and show her glaring fiancé. “I made a love connection, Oliver. Suck it.”
He surges up from his chair and sends it scraping across the floor. Abandoning Alana, he strides back three seats, grabs the scruff of my sexy shirt, and drags me to my feet. “Go sit with Alana for a bit. I wanna check out this list my Rosaline has crafted.” He snatches it from my hand andshoves me out of the way, then he plops down and plants a vicious kiss on Rose’s lips.
“No touching!” Eliza gags. “Ollie! The rules were clear.”
“Come sit with me, handsome.” Alana reclines with her legs crossed, her heeled foot swinging forward on a gentle sway. “I’m the only woman in the room who doesn’t have a date. You wouldn’t embarrass me like that, would you?”
“Of course not. What do you take me for?” I stroll over to her table and bring Ollie’s chair back in, but then I look to Alana’s left and lock eyes with a furious, and irritatingly pretty, Magnolia Sava.
