Page 25 of Ashes to New

“It’s the path fate chose for us, Elz,” he said. “We have to walk it.”

“But it’s hell.”

With the investigation, the questioning, and the series of pretrials that had followed, Elsbeth had pulled out of school. She had taken her GED and sent applications to several pre-med programs. Forest had failed the GED twice before accepting he’d have to go back and complete his senior year. He hadn’t wanted to go without her, but she’d convinced him it was the right thing to do. That meant he had to leave her alone with her thoughts every day, his fingers fluttering over hers in an awkward good-bye.

Forest had finally revealed the reason behind his aversion to her touch. The conditioning instilled by John Snowden made him react in ways he wasn’t ready to process. She lost Forest’s hugs because of what John Snowden had done.

Self-defense.

That was the trial strategy. After the cops discovered videos buried in Clark Preston’s things, confirming the story she and Forest had told, there was little doubt as to the abuse she and Forest had suffered. However, there were procedures. She’d been appointed an attorney. Her case, he’d explained, would be dismissed.

She never told anyone how she’d planned Clark Preston’s death. Well, she’d told Forest, but he wasn’t just anyone.Premeditationwas a word she understood—as well as the consequences associated with it. They’d made a vow to take that secret to the grave together. There were some questions about the knife. The how had been hidden by the fog of her descriptions. She’d been out of her mind, Forest had claimed, and in many ways, that wasn’t far from the truth.

Today’s trial would determine her guilt or innocence—or at least the official version.

Forest opened the door and led her outside to the crispness of the spring morning.

She stopped and inhaled. “It smells so new.”

He smiled. “It does, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. A new beginning, I suppose.” She spun in a circle, soaking in the sun. “I feel like we’ve walked through hell together and survived.”

“Something like that.”

“Is there hope for us?”Would the scars ever heal?

Forest pointed at the sky. “Do you see that?”

The heat of the sun warmed her face. “The sun?”

He shook his head. “No, the sky. Do you see the sky?”

“What about it?”

“It reminds me of you. Not this sky, but the summer sky. It’s a deeper blue, I think.”

“I don’t understand.”

“When I was in the basement, I would spend hours looking out that tiny window.”

“Forest…”

She hated the swell of memories brewing in his gaze. He had the palest blue eyes, and they shimmered now with a glaze of tears, turning them nearly silver.

“Let me finish.” He took in a deep breath and then continued, “There was always that small patch of the outside world. When things were at their worst, I would stare out the window and think of you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah,” he said with a half-laugh. “You kept me sane.”

“How?”

The summer had been hardest on him. She’d been forced to serve, but Forest had survived torture.

“They ruined me, but through it all, I kept thinking,Elsbeth is so strong. Your belief that things would get better was as endless as the summer sky. I wanted to be like you.”

“Oh, Forest, I’m not like that. I’m emotionally ruined.”