Page 49 of Always Love You More

My fist flies out, and he catches it before it can connect with his face.

A laugh pours from his lips. “There he is.”

I twist my hand from his hold, and just when I think it might be over, I have to drop down to avoid his fist that’s now coming at my face. My whole body burns, my legs shaking as I push myself back up to standing.

He circles around me, and as I turn to follow his movement, my eyes slip past Sam.

I don’t want her to—

My knees connect with the hard ground, and I throw out my hands to catch myself. My stomach heaves from the impact of the hit.

I want to fucking kill him.

I hear Sam yell for him to stop.

I really wish she wasn’t here.

I glance up and see Johnny inch forward, just as my father asks, “You done already? That all it takes?”

I suck in a breath, letting the burn that comes with it center me. Slowly, I get up off the ground.

My father smiles, and all I can think about is wiping that fucking look off his face.

I accept the pain.

Let it consume me.

Until I can barely feel it anymore.

Until it becomes a pulse in the background.

The force that drives me forward.

I know I’m moving, but it’s like my mind has emptied out. My fist connects with my father’s jaw, and I only faintly feel the pain that runs through my knuckles.

He comes back at me, but his hit never lands. Someone pulls him back, pinning his arms behind his back.

I lunge for him but am stopped when someone grabs me from behind. I try to break out of their hold, wanting to get to my father, to sink my fist into his face again.

“Stop,” the voice behind me shouts. “Jameson, calm down.”

I don’t listen.

I don’t want to stop.

I don’t want to calm down.

I want to fucking kill him.

All the pain.

All the humiliation.

All the shit he makes me do.

All the ways he’s ruined my mother.

It would all be so much better if he was just gone.