Page 42 of Always Love You More

Dylan comes up just as Sam is leaning back and starts talking to Billy about the upcoming show they’re playing. They managed to get a daytime slot at this restaurant and bar called Rosette’s. Madison keeps trying to insert herself into the conversation. After the third time, Sam glances up at me and mouths, “What the fuck?”

I shake my head and try to cover the laugh that slips from my lips.

Sam stays by my side the whole night. She’s mostly quiet, but it seems like she’s having fun.

Eventually, headlights cut through the darkness, and we both know it’s her brother.

I don’t want her to leave, but I feel better when she says, “See you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I answer.

She tips her head toward the car. “Well, I’ve gotta go.”

I nod before she turns, watching her walk away.

Billy’s elbow nudges me. “I get it now,” he whispers.

Chapter 12

Sam

I’mhappierthanI’vebeen in a long time, or maybe ever.

I’ve been working at the garage for a few weeks now and, for the most part, it’s been great. I get to see my brother all the time. Luke has been so kind. Billy makes me laugh more than I think anyone ever has. And Jameson … I don’t know what to think about Jameson. It seems like that’s all I really do now, though … think about him.

The way he towers over me, glancing down with that almost smile he seems to reserve for just me.

The way I catch him watching me when he thinks I’m not looking.

The way he stops by the front desk to see me any chance he gets.

I can’t get him out of my mind.

And I don’t think I want to.

I hang out with him and Billy during breaks and after the shop has closed. Sometimes, Jameson’s father calls him away, or he’s gone training for his next fight, but he stays at the shop with us more times than not.

We talk or listen to music, although our favorite thing to do together is play gin. None of us have much money, so we bet whatever we can find. It’s fun.

The only part of it that isn’t great is Jameson’s father and knowing what goes on behind closed doors. The guy, Marcus, who’s always with him, gives me the creeps, too.

When I have to stay past closing, it’s because Johnny has to do things for the “unofficial” part of his job. It still scares me when I think about what he’s out there doing.

Hanging out with Billy and Jameson helps distract me, but sometimes that life even bleeds into those moments. It happens when Jameson gets called away. When I can see the weight of what he’s carrying in his eyes. When he comes in with a new bruise or cut. When he turns into a shell of himself the minute his father steps into the room. Or when I hear the way his father speaks to him.

I wish there was something I could do. I know Billy feels the same way. Luke, too. But it’s almost like this unspoken thing that hangs in the air. We all know it’s going on, but nobody feels like they can stop it.

It’s the same way with the illegal shit we know they’re doing. It’s a clear divide with me, Billy, and Luke on one side and the rest of them on the other.

The strain between Levi and Luke is obvious, and it’s not getting any better. I think we’re all waiting for them to explode.

But even with all of that, I’m happy. With Jameson and Billy, it feels like I have a place where I fit in. Like I haveactualfriends.

Staring back at myself in the mirror, I finish touching up my eyeliner.

I got home from the shop about an hour ago, but Johnny and I are getting ready to head out again to go to Jameson’s fight. It took a lot of convincing for my brother to let me go. I had to promise to stay right by his side the whole time.

Jameson wasn’t at the shop today, and Luke won’t let Billy go, so I’m gonna surprise him. I thought it would be nice for Jameson to have at least one of us there.