Page 150 of Always Love You More

“There’s a party—”

“I don’t know if a party is a good idea tonight,” Jameson cuts Billy off, looking over at me then back at Billy in the rearview mirror.

“She said she wanted to have fun.”

Jameson’s hand on my leg stills when I say, “I wanna go.”

“Baby …”

“I’m good, really.” I put my hand over his. “I’ll go easy, promise.”

He watches me for a minute before he nods then asks Billy, “Whose party?”

“Dougie’s.”

Jameson grunts, pulling into a parking spot. I know he’s not really into parties, but he goes for me and Billy.

“We should head in,” he says. “First movie is about to start.”

I push out of the car, lowering my seat for Billy. Jameson comes around and takes my hand, threading his fingers through mine. He leads us inside, nodding at the guy he knows who lets us in for free before heading for the concession stand.

While Billy and Jameson get snacks, I run to the bathroom and come out to find them waiting for me. Jameson holds out my favorite kind of chocolate and a soda. I take them, smiling up at him, and he slings his arm over me, directing us to the theater.

We find our usual seats in the back just as the previews start to play. I look over at the two of them, the bright screen lighting their faces, and I can’t help but feel lucky.

Even with everything.

Even with last night.

Because no matter how heavy things get or how hard life seems to feel, at least I have them.

And for that, I’m lucky.

Chapter 35

Sam

It’sdarkwhenwestep out of the theater, the marathon of movies having stolen the day. We hopped from one to the next, getting through three before deciding we’d finally call it quits and head to the party.

With each movie, the tension Jameson always carries seemed to slip away. Sometimes, I wonder what he’d be like without the burdens he has to carry. What all of us would be like.

I guess all we can really ask for are these little glimpses. The moments we can carve out of our lives, where we can forget. Let go. Where we can just be.

We all file into the car, and I switch on the radio, turning up the volume and cranking down my window.

Jameson glances over at me. “Better?”

My head bobs to the song that’s drifting around us. “Better.”

His face softens before he turns, bringing his arm to the headrest behind me and backing out into the street.

I light a cigarette, handing the pack to Billy after he taps my shoulder. Jameson holds out his hand, and after taking a drag, I pass mine to him.

“Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N’ Roses filters through the speakers, and I lean forward, turning it up until they rattle.

Billy’s drumming on the back of my seat speeds up, and I laugh when he belts the lyrics. Jameson’s hand brushes mine as he slips the cigarette from my fingers again and tucks it between his lips. He hands it back as we slow in front of Dougie’s house, the song just coming to an end.

I take one last drag then step out of the car and grind the cherry out under my shoe. A cool wind whips around me, blowing my hair into my face. Jameson comes up behind me, and I feel his rough hands smooth it back into place.