Page 149 of Always Love You More

He grunts then turns back to what he’s doing.

I fill up a cup of water in the sink, down it, then search the cupboards until I find a pack of crackers.

“I’m going to the movies. I won’t be back until tonight.”

My father turns in his seat. “With who?”

“Jameson and Billy.”

“Don’t you have any friends?” Carson asks, dropping into a seat at the table. “You know, who are girls?”

I don’t respond. Instead, I turn my attention to my father. “Is that all right?”

“No work today?”

I shake my head. “I have the day off.”

“We could have used the check.”

Biting the inside of my cheek, I stop myself from snapping that maybe if I wasn’t the only one in this house who worked, we wouldn’t be so hard up.

“Sorry. Couldn’t get scheduled.”

That’s a lie, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“So,” I push, “can I go?”

He takes a sip of his coffee and nods.

“Thanks,” I say while texting Jameson to let him know I’m good to go. He responds back a minute later, telling me that he’s around the corner.

Carson and my father are deep in conversation, so I shrug on a jacket and head for the door.

Jameson’s pulling up when I make it to the end of the driveway, Billy in the seat beside him. He jumps out of the car, moving to the back and giving me his spot.

Once we’re all situated, Jameson turns to me. “How’s your head?”

“Still feels like shit,” I say. “But better than when I woke up.”

He drops his hand to my thigh as he starts to drive. “A dark theater will help.”

“You doing all right?” Billy asks. “Jameson didn’t tell me much, just that you were really fucking hungover.”

“It was a rough night,” I answer, not wanting to lie. Not to him.

Other than Jameson, Billy’s the only person I really trust. Well, and maybe my sister. But she’s barely around anymore. She offered to move back home after Johnny, but I convinced her not to; told her I was fine, that I have Jameson and Billy. When she calls, I only tell her half-truths, not wanting her to worry. She got out, built a life for herself, and I’m not gonna be the one who takes that from her.

I spend the rest of the ride to the theater telling Billy what happened, the emotion stripped from my voice. If I don’t lock the feelings away, they’ll consume me.

They still might, anyway.

He keeps quiet as I talk, listening intently, as Jameson runs his hand up and down my leg in a silent show of support.

“And,” I finish, “that’s why I have this killer hangover.”

Billy leans forward, squeezing my shoulder. “I’m really sorry.” I nod, and he smiles at me sadly. “Today will be better, though.” He tips his chin toward Jameson. “We’ll make it better.”

“I just want to”—I blow out a breath—“have fun. You know? Have shit not feel so heavy for once.”