Page 147 of Always Love You More

Thesoundofanalarm seems to split my head in two. I groan and hear a muttered, “Sorry,” before the noise stops.

I drag my palms down my face, but it does nothing to stop the thumping in my head.

Turning onto my side, I’m met with Jameson’s bare chest, and his heavy arm that’s draped over me pulls me in closer. Instinctively, I curl into him, the heat of his body wrapping around me.

He moves his hand up to the back of my head, and I feel his fingers lightly run through my hair.

“How are you?” he whispers.

The question breaks through the fog, and memories of last night start to play through my mind.

The party.

Getting wasted.

Jameson coming to get me.

Throwing up.

Oh God.

“It’s all right,” he says, and I realize I must have said that last part out loud.

The fog continues to lift, and I wish it wouldn’t.

I don’t want to remember, but I’m stuck in a place where I can’t forget.

Jameson’s fingers are still threaded in my hair, his arm still wrapped around me like an anchor. I move in even closer to his chest, trying to block out the rest of the world.

Carefully, he asks, “What happened? Why’d you …?”

I reach down, feeling for the ring Johnny got me.

Jameson pulls away from me, trailing his eyes over my body until they lock on the place where all my attention has gone.

“It was supposed to be for my birthday,” I explain quietly.

“The ring?”

I nod.

“From Johnny?”

I nod again.

He takes my hand, sliding his finger over the ring. “How?”

I blink up at him, feeling tears prick at the back of my eyes. “I was putting away laundry. I tripped, and when I was cleaning up, I found it hidden under his bed. There was …” My voice breaks as I feel a tear fall down my face. “There was a card, too.”

Jameson stares back at me silently, giving me the space I need to continue.

“When I read it, I realized it was the last thing that he’ll ever get to say to me and that he’s really gone. I just …” I clear my throat. “I just really fucking miss him, and I lost it. I wanted to forget … so I … I’m sorry.”

Jameson brings my hand up to his mouth and kisses it. Then he leans forward and kisses where the tears are trailing down my cheeks.

“I’m trying,” I tell him as he smooths my hair back out of my face.

“I know you are,” he says softly. “This was just one day.”