Page 44 of The Odyssean Duke

She had married a man before, and the memories of that day—of thehopefulnessthat her husband might love her, that he might be kind—all rose up within her with such force that she could scarcely breathe. Rationally, Evelina knew that her solicitors had agonized over every arrangement of her marriage. They had considered every aspect of this agreement. They were learned and efficient men who would not do her the disservice of neglect, but still, she wondered if this marriage was a terrible, irreversible mistake, one from which her reputation and self might never recover.

“Will you have this man to be your wedded husband?” The vicar spoke in his horribly excited voice, and Evelina wanted nothing more than to flee. She had even missed the sound of her own name. “To live together in God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you obey him?—”

Ice sank into her veins.Obey him. She could not, or she would have no life of her own. Evelina’s own contracts painted well enough her future as an independent woman, one who was in no way beholden to her husband. Now, she was agreeing toobeythis man. A sense of wrongness settled inside her. Was she committing blasphemy if she agreed toobeyand did not really mean it?

“—and serve him, love, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep you only unto him, so long as you both shall live?”

Her breath came in quick, uneven gasps for air. The vicar smiled indulgently, either not noticing or interpreting her reaction as the anxiety which a bride often experienced before a wedding.

“I do,” she said.

It was done. Not truly, but it was done enough. She had committed to marry the Duke of Rothbury. Evelina’s thoughts wandered as the ceremony continued. She thought of her hard-won freedom, which was threatened by marriage. Her mind was quick to name all the errors which her solicitors might have made. It was even quicker to produce a series of unfortunate outcomes. What if the Duke of Rothbury was a monster, only one who was adept at hiding his true nature? What if he was unkind or neglectful? What if he could never produce a child and cast her out, blaming her as the cause of their barrenness when she was not?

“Now, I pronounce you man and wife.”

It was done. Evelina imagined that she heard a door closing loudly upon her old life as the free, brazen widow. She was a married woman.

Well, she wasnearlymarried. Evelina would still need to sign the register. This was her last chance to flee.

“I do not imagine Odysseus’s wedding took so long,” His Grace said.

The remark was so unexpected that Evelina nearly laughed. “You cannot possibly know that,” she said. “It might have been.”

The register was produced, and Evelina pressed the tip of her pen to the paper. This was her last chance. Once she signed in the register, she would be truly wed to this man.

My mother managed to escape a terrible marriage,Evelina thought.I could do the same.

Even so, Evelina knew the separation was not easily obtained. She could not anticipate gaining one so easily for herself, and so, she must approach this marriage as if it was forever, just as so many other brides did.

“Shall I look away?” His Grace asked.

“Why would you?” Evelina murmured.

He stood quite near, peering over her shoulder. “Maybe you are ashamed of your penmanship,” he offered.

The remark did not contain his usual bite, and Evelina wondered if he was as uncertain about their union as she was. In a way, the thought was comforting.

“My penmanship is a work of art,” Evelina said. “Maybe it is your own handwriting that you are concerned about.”

“I will have you know that my handwriting is exquisite,” he replied.

“You would not admit having any flaws,” she countered, “much less in your penmanship.”

“That is untrue.”

She quickly wrote her name and handed the pen to him. The Duke of Rothbury grinned slyly and wrote his name in what she suspected to be a deliberately flamboyant manner. “See?” he asked. “Beautiful penmanship.”

“Wonderful,” Alexander drawled.

The Duke of Rothbury whirled around, appearing comically startled. Evelina suspected that he had forgotten they were not alone.

“If this ceremony is ever going to end, you will need to let the witnesses sign as well,” Alexander said dryly. “Now, may I?”

His Grace looked as if he wanted to argue, but he surrendered the pen without complaint. Alexander grinned and winked at Evelina. Then, he signed his name with a predictable flourish, doubtlessly determined to see Evelina smile. She managed to, but only barely.

It was not that she was displeased with this turn of events. She had her husband, which meant that everything was goingaccording to plan. Even better, she had a husband who had agreed to do everything in his power to give her a child and quickly. A husband who had agreed to all her contractual stipulations, which were admittedly numerous.

Still, she could not deny the icy dread that filled her veins when she thought of being bound to this man through matrimony. There were so many variables which she could not possibly consider, and it seemed that the longer they tarried in the church, the more she thought of.