Page 55 of How to Woo the Undead

Dahlia and Austin finished off the bowl in peaceful silence. He didn’t want to break the nice bubble between them. But as hewashed the container and went to dry his hands, his mind kept going back to Hyacinth.

“My lady, may I ask something kind of personal?” He turned to find her rifling through the pantry for something. She stopped immediately and dusted off her hands.

“Of course, what’s wrong?” Unfortunately for him, his tongue got in the way. More it was his consciousness realizing that he was about to talk about what happened down in the lab and his collar grew warm. Then his hands got clammy again. And he replayed when he sat on the stool all over again and he was pretty sure he was sweating.

“Hyacinth. Well, I mean, it was me—well, no, so we both—it’s not like, no, no itislike—”

“Austin, please, for the love of my insanity, spit it out,” she laughed. Austin wiped his damp palms across his clothes.

“After Hyacinth and I had sex, she ran away and I don’t know what I did.” he confessed in a single breath.

Dahlia blinked at him before seemingly coming to her senses with a shake of her head. “I guess that entirely depends on what you said prior to her running away. And furthermore, this was not a personal question. Austin. You did not ask me anything. But I’m about to ask youa tonof things.”

“Oh,” he wheezed nervously.Now I’ve done it.“Right—”

Dahlia waved her hand in front of her, “No, no, I’m sorry, you wanted to ask something. I will hold my tongue. Please, as you were saying.”

Austin gave her a moment to collect herself while he also tried to figure out how to control the words projectile launching out of his maw. “Hyacinth and I were together, down in the lab. We were talking, then things got heated. And one thing led toanother and before I knew it, she was…asking me why I was made.”

Dahlia’s face fell from the impish grin it’d become while he spoke. She stepped forward, hands clutching her skirts. “And you told her, what? Exactly?”

“Well, I told her I knew why I was made. But she said she didn’t know why she was made. And so I told her that Lord Rosemont made her to be a part of this family.” Austin wrung his shirt hard.

Dahlia groaned, rolling her eyes. “Austin!”

“What! Was that wrong?” He gawked, throwing his arms out to the side.

She grabbed a tea towel and swatted his arm. “Yes! That was wrong.”

“Ow! Wait—”

“I didn’t even hit you that hard,” she huffed. Dahlia used it to clean up the soaping kitchen counter as she continued, “Austin, Hyacinth is in a very vulnerable place right now. She doesn’t know where or how she fits into this world and you’re a person she turns to. That she trusts to tell her the truth, because you know how she feels. You know she wasn’t made just to be a part of this family. While we love her and she’s absolutely a part of this family, that wasn’t why she was brought to life.And you know that.”

Austin groaned louder, hanging his head back. “But if I tell her Lord Rosemont made her to fix me, then she’ll feel pressure to do that. That’s not what I want for her.”

“And what is it you want for her?” Dahlia turned, crossing her arms over her chest.

“To be happy!” Austin barked, the whole world heating up but especially around his ears. His tongue was too big for his mouth but even that couldn’t stop the words from flying out of him “To not feel burdened with purpose. It’s donenothingbut harm me. This-this-thisneedto do the thing you’re meant for.A greater purpose. It’s all bullshit!”

Dahlia’s eyebrows shot up into her hair. He just blinked at her.It’s bullshit. I said it. I meant it.Austin was breathing heavy as he stalked across the kitchen.Preconceived purpose is nothing but a death sentence.

“It’s the whole reason I am distraught but cannot fix it. It’s why I can’t sleep! I tell myself that my purpose, my reason for being here is to be this great protector. That’s what I was made for but knowing that has done nothing but cause me harm. You said yourself for me not to be mean to myself. I can’t be mean to her either. I’d rather she think I’m lying to her than tell her the truth that she was made because I ammiserableand Lord Rosemont thinks she will fix that. Fix me. He fears that I wish to unwind myself. And maybe…maybe there for a little bitI did.”

The air in the room was sucked out as Austin finally said the thing plaguing him out loud.I wished sometimes I wasn’t made, because then maybe I wouldn’t feel like a failure. Or like it was all my fault.

“But you no longer feel this way, correct?”

Austin jerked to the right, finding Lord Rosemont leaning cooly against the kitchen door. His maker took off his mask, showing him the concerned face beneath it. Sebastian slunk across the floor to join Dahlia by the counters. Austin took a moment to really think about it. Not just his answer but the truth.

You no longer feel this way, correct?

Hewas still sad. He was still fighting those dark thoughts.But do I want to pull on my thread?

“No.” He gave him a genuine, soft smile. “I don’t.”

“See, I told you,” Dahlia huffed, slapping a wet towel against her husband’s chest. “You all just need to eat more pudding.”

Sebastian snorted but Austin knew better than to argue. The Lich of the Manor rolled his eyes where Dahlia couldn’t see, or so he thought, a wicked grin curling up on his face. “Of course, my love.”