Page 94 of Donovan's Men

“Because there are three of us?”

He put his phone down, yanked up the duvet, and tugged me close. “Because we’re part of his heart—and he’s part of ours.Sleep now, Hamish. We need to have a long discussion when he gets here.” He yawned. “Then all will be well.”

I wasn’t certain I believed him, but in that moment, I trusted his affection.

It mirrored the love I felt for him.

For both of them.

Chapter Eighteen

Donovan

As Thomas, our production supervisor, drove me to Hamish’s condo, I reflected on my house. I loved it, but did it really feel like home? Especially when two welcoming men awaited me in downtown Vancouver. I’d researched Hamish’s building and wow, a step above anything I’d ever conceivably own. Having a few wealthy friends in town, I’d been to plenty of upscale places—but I never felt comfortable. Well, Cole’s house being the exception. Part of me felt I’d contributed to it, though—at least by bringing around willing play partners to keep my friend amused.

No longer.

Yeah. True. Not that I would turn down an invitation to join him, Caressa, and Michael—in a heartbeat—but I had the distinct impression that offer would never be made. I’d offered to train Michael as a Top—if his interest lay that way—but he’d never given me any indication he would take me up on that offer. Caressa’d made it clear she wasn’t wielding any implement. I’d secretly smiled. I knew quite a few bottoms who had eventually become switches. And several who had moved exclusively into the Top realm.

Somehow, I couldn’t envision Cole and his two partners making their way down to the dungeon—at least not for the foreseeable future. And not just because of the shooting. They needed time to settle into their new dynamic. Cole’d let slip that Michael was far bossier than he’d anticipated—and he liked that side of his lover. And on at least two occasions, Caressa had taken charge. Cole hadn’t specified whether these incidents had taken place in the bedroom. Instead, he’d let my imagination run wild.

Sadist.

But focusing on that throuple kept me from obsessing about my men. Because every time I did, I hit two enormous problems—Tyson’s tight control and Hamish’s inexperience. Neither was an insurmountable problem. In fact, the heaviest lifting was their professional statuses—and they both needed to resolve their issues. Well, to some degree. Hamish still felt residual guilt, and Tyson still felt residual anger.

Neither blamed me. Or so they said. That was something…right?

“You okay?” Thomas cast me a quick glance after he finished maneuvering the curve coming off the Lionsgate Bridge that led him onto West Georgia Street. He was a handsome man, and I once envied actor Peter Erickson for nabbing one of the cutest guys on the set of the movie Peter had made with Cole. Where they’d been gay lovers. For which Peter had won the Academy Award.

Cole was robbed. He should’ve won best supporting.

I’d never made a move on Thomas because I’d believed him to be straight. Plus, he wouldn’t have suited me. Peter, though? The two were happily married with two wonderful children. A life I could envy—if only for the settled nature of it. Not my speed, though. At all. “I’m okay. Thanks for asking. I liked being on set today—even if I’m not at my best.”

“You could’ve taken more time. I think Valentino was pissed you came back so soon.”

“Our executive producer would also, under duress, admit returning to our normal schedule is good for everyone. The counseling crew has okayed us to get back to a full schedule. They’re still around if people have lingering issues.”

“I think one or two people might—people close to, uh, her.”

Meggibeth.

“Yeah, I can see that. I—” I breathed out a sigh as Thomas took the left onto Jervis Street. “I’m working through the guilt of not reacting sooner. It’s the building just up ahead.”

“Sure.” He pulled up to the front of the condo. “I’m not going to ask.”

I chuckled. He knew I lived over in Renfrew. “That’s probably not a bad thing. Maybe one day…” Except my relationship would bring scrutiny—especially the part with Hamish.Are they right? Am I a celebrity? Will that expose us in a way I haven’t anticipated? Or am I just plowing through everything because I want them so badly? And is it just physical or, as I said to Cole, that it’s real love?I didn’t have answers to any of those questions. “Thanks for the ride.”

“Hey, no worries. I got to leave early. I’ll surprise Peter and the kids.”

“Sounds great. Sayhifrom me.” I pressed my hand to Thomas’s arm. “Thanks.”

“Anytime. Literally.” He offered me the boyish grin that made him look younger than the early thirties he was.

“I’m going to drive myself the next time I come to the studio. I’m ready. At least I don’t drive stick.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, there’s that. Doctor cleared you?”

“Yeah.” Total fucking lie but, honestly, I didn’t have any pain, and my range of motion was back. I’d even hefted a few bags for Kelci and Elouise in LA—not that I would own doing that to anyone. Especially my men. I exited the car and headed into the building, happy to leave behind both the clouds that threatened snow and the brisk wind off the water of Coal Harbour.