Page 82 of Donovan's Men

She shot out of her chair. “Holy shit.”

“Oh no.” I put my hand up. “Not Cole Hamilton.”

Her forward momentum stalled. Had she planned to physically throttle me? I wouldn’t have put it past her. She would make a challenging adversary.

“You’re talking about Donovan Riggs?”

I nodded.

She continued to stand, looking down at me.

Should’ve stayed standing. I was at a complete disadvantage—obviously the way she wanted it.

“Same rules apply, Detective.”

Ouch. In private, she tended to use our first names—trying to remind us that we were people first, cops second.

“Can I try to explain?”

She put her hands on her hips but didn’t stop me.

“I want to say he came on to me—which is true—but the attraction’s mutual. I can’t explain it—”

“And yet you’re trying.” Her irritation came through loud and clear in her words.

“Because I need you to understand. You, Wendy. Not as my sergeant, but as someone I consider a friend.”

She frowned. But didn’t stop me.

“You know I’m a rule follower.”

“To your detriment. Some of the time.”

I winced. She knew. Had probably always known. But I hadn’t spoken up, and now was far too late to do the right thing. Yes, I’d held the line. I shouldn’t have, but the unspoken rule was we had each other’s backs.

“Is this Donovan your way of making up for pasterrors in judgment?”

The air quotes came through plainly. Still, I bristled. “His ethnicity has nothing to do with this. What happened…” I cleared my throat. “As you said, it’s too late. I was wrong. I regret my actions. Or rather, my inaction. If I had it to do over, I’d make a different choice. But whether Donovan had come into my life or not, I’d feel that way. Self-reflection hasn’t been kind.”

“Okay, so this isn’t because Riggs is Black.”

I shook my head. “It’s what’s within him. He comes across as strong and in control—which he is—but he also shows me a different side.”

“A vulnerable side.”

My mouth opened, then snapped shut.Fuck.

“You’re making my point, Tyson. He’s vulnerable—because of getting shot. You starting a relationship with him is taking advantage.”

“But it’s not—”

“So you say.”

“Yeah, so I say.” My back went up. “I think I’m a good enough judge of character. He’s had every opportunity to walk away from this relationship. Yet he hasn’t.”

“You ever wonder if it’s the uniform?”

“I would’ve thought it’d be a detriment.” I drew in a sharp breath and let it out on a long exhalation. “The truth is I honestly don’t think he cares about the uniform. I mean, he’s cognizant I’m a police officer…but that doesn’t seem to sway him.” I hadn’t spent a lot of time examining this—but I believed it in my heart. If I hung up my uniform today, Donovan would still want me.