Page 116 of Donovan's Men

After a moment, I knelt on the couch next to him and rubbed his back.

Donovan met my gaze over Hamish’s shoulder.

I don’t know why, but I expected regret. Or hesitation. Instead, I saw a grim satisfaction.

Is this what he means by catharsis? Did they negotiate this?

I wasn’t sure I had a simple answer to either question. Or a way to quell the panic rising within me. My turn hadn’t come. Ohsure, I’d mentioned my wife. But she wasn’t the loss I grieved so acutely. Or the wrong I couldn’t right.

A long time passed before Hamish finally pulled back, wiping his eyes. “This is embarrassing.” His shaky laugh broke my heart.

“Let me get you a tissue.” I rose.

“Kitchen or bedroom.” He met my gaze and mouthedsorry.

I leaned over to kiss his tearstained cheek. “You’re beautiful to me, okay? I might not revel in your pain—but I’m glad you endured it to share your heart.”

Hamish glanced over at Donovan. “I’m not certain I had a choice. Even Allie and Smith didn’t know what happened.” He cleared his throat. “I left that organization, did a stint at the cancer ward in a hospital in the interior, then came back, and started working for JEAP.”

Donovan wrapped his arm around Hamish’s shoulder. “Employee assistance work is a brilliant use of your skills. You’ve done good work over the years.”

“You don’t know that.” The protest came out a little weak.

“Do you think Allie and Smith would tolerate someone incompetent?”

“They’ve only owned the company a couple of years.”

Donovan snickered. “And you don’t think they would’ve fired an incapable employee long before now?” He ruffled Hamish’s hair. “Who came before?”

“Agnes Strongman used to own the company. She hired me.”

“And was your boss for…”

Hamish sniffed. “Almost ten years.”

I snorted as I headed toward the bedroom. I would lay easy money he’d spent the last ten years trying to prove himself. The effort wasn’t wasted, of course—he’d helped all those people.

He’d helped Donovan, Cole, Elouise, and Julie.

I suspected, if I let him, he could help me.

After snagging a couple of tissues, I contemplated the bed. And snickered in my mind. Of course, Hamish had made the bed. Why was I surprised? Possibly because, after having made beds for my entire marriage, I pretty much never made mine now?

Yeah, possibly.

I headed back into the living room to find Hamish cuddled into Donovan’s side.

He took the tissues with a weak smile. “You’re next.”

“Can we go for a walk down by the harbor? It’s warmer this morning.”

Donovan arched an eyebrow. “And how do you know that?”

I snickered. “Weather report.” Theduhwas implied.

That eyebrow rose even higher.

“Shit, sorry, that was rude of me.”