Page 62 of Darkness Defined

“What?” I asked, returning to earth.

“I said, I’m going to try to go back to sleep. Maybe you should too if you’re falling asleep with your eyes open.”

“You’re probably right.” I yawned wide enough to crack my jaw. “I’ll see you later.”

I waited until he’d retreated to his room. While I didn’t relish trying to sleep again, he had a point. I confirmed the bookmark was in place before setting the book down and marching into my room.

Chapter 18

Demon's Advice

A

Iwentthroughclassin a daze. Thank goodness I already had a solid grasp of the material, because not so much as an iota of the lecture pierced my fog. All my thoughts circled on replaying that night over and over again. What should I have done differently? Had it been a mistake to admit the truth? It wasn’t like I was ashamed of being gay; my mother had given me all the support any kid could want. Why should it matter that Matt knew?

Of course, knowing or not knowing the answers didn’t change a damn thing. Matt did know and now nothing would ever be the same again. I wasn’t even sure which one of us was being more awkward. Personally, I believed Matt was acting especially weird. While he wasn’t outright avoiding me, he also wasn’t exactly lingering in shared spaces.

But I couldn’t lay all the blame for our suddenly strained friendship on him. It was me who’d kissed him first. And if I was being honest, my behavior had altered as well. I’d stopped yammering his ear off. I didn’t initiate studying sessions. Whether that was helping or hurting, though, was anyone’s guess. Maybe if I—

A hand landed on my shoulder. I yelped and lurched straight into the air, briefly shadowing.

“Whoa there. Didn’t mean to startle you.” Rubio chuckled and dropped his hand.

I glanced around, surprised to find myself in an unfamiliar hallway.

A crease formed between Rubio’s golden brows. “You okay? I called to you twice, but you didn’t seem to hear me.”

“Um… yeah, I’m fine.” I cleared my throat and adjusted my backpack.

He gave me a curious look, but didn’t pursue the lackluster answer. “What brings you around here? Meeting a tutoring client?”

“Uh, no. I actually have no idea where ‘here’ is,” I replied, a little abashed.

Rubio’s eyebrows lifted. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Totally. Just distracted lately.” I chose a direction at random and started walking, secretly hoping it would lead to an exit, or at least somewhere familiar.

“Uh-huh.” Rubio fell in step beside me. “I haven’t been loading you with too many clients, have I? Don’t want to burn you out. Especially it being your first semester and all.”

I shook my head, only half listening. “No, of course not. The clients are great. Really making progress.”

“What about your private tutoring lessons?”

My steps faltered, and I shot Rubio a look. “My what?”

“The private lessons. The ones with your roommate.” He held his hand up to nose level. “About yay tall, really hot. You know, the lessons you’re not charging for.”

I scrambled for words, anything that could vaguely sound like a response, but like the broken record it had apparently become, my brain stalled out.

“Ah-ha! There is something wrong.”

“No, there’s not. I just… just…” No matter how much I wanted the lie to come, it remained elusive.

Rubio’s face took on a more profound concern. “Hey, flirting aside, you can still talk to me. I get it, you’re not interested. No worries, no hard feelings. We’re friends.”

“It’s not that. I appreciate the offer—both of them—but I…” But I felt like someone had plopped me on a possessed merry-go-round or maybe a rocket spinning out of orbit. My thoughts were a mess and my emotional state worse.

“Alexi, talk to me, man. Let me help.”