Page 44 of Darkness Defined

“Sure thing, Matt,” I wheezed, sitting up. I looked down at him.

He blinked back and smiled.

It would have been so easy to lie down beside him and pretend for just a moment that we were more than roommates, more than friends. Instead, I started getting to my feet. I was going to have to start a list of things we couldn’t do together.

“Wanna go again?” Matt asked, still a tad breathless.

“I think I’m good on the near death for one day.” I extended a hand to help him up. He took it and surged to his feet. I misjudged where he would land and his face stopped right in front of mine.

“I wouldn’t have hurt you, Alex,” he said, catching my eye.

Matt really didn’t have any sense of personal space. He was inches away, if that, and my entire body was screaming at me to do something. But I couldn’t seem to move. I was stuck in a trance, drowning in blue. I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing anymore. My only saving grace was that I seemed to literally be frozen in place. Desire for Matt smashed violently against all of my control. Abruptly, I released his hand like I’d been burned and took a step back. Air finally found its way back into my lungs. I braced my hands on my knees. It felt like I’d run a marathon.

“Are you okay?” He sounded confused.

“I’m… I’m fine.” I struggled with steady breaths. “Just got the wind knocked out of me, is all.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” He stepped closer.

I quickly held out a hand to stall him. If he got any closer, I was going to be in even more trouble than I already was, and I wasn’t sure what I would do if he touched me again.

“You didn’t. I just wasn’t expecting it is all. It’s been a while since I saw stars.” I glanced at him. He didn’t need to know that two of those stars were his eyes.

“I feel bad anyway. You know what you need?”

To get laid.

“Ice cream.”

That could work, too.

Chapter 13

Fighting Chance

M

Ididn’tknowhowAlex did it. One day I was in danger of flunking out altogether, then a few later, I felt like I actually stood a chance of turning this around. My grades still weren’t anywhere as good as his, but they were undeniably climbing. Turned out, I was actually good at math, and while Demonic History would probably never be my favorite subject, it was Alex’s. He could go on for hours about ancient wars and demonic battles, and most of the time, I let him. I found it surprising, however, for someone who was so clearly a pacifist to revel in such violence.

Of course, I had no room to talk. I was getting in more than enough practice for Battle Tactics at the fight club. Though I wasn’t using shadow nearly as much as I probably should have been able to. Alex naturally had theories about my inability to consistently control my powers. He still held that somehow, I was the one preventing me from using them. Either way, all of my frustrations from class went into the ring. Or, at least, I tried to take them all there.

Alex and I walked into Battle Tactics together, as we’d been doing since he’d started tutoring me. We automatically veered to our designated corner of the room to prepare for class.

“Look what the cat coughed up,” George snickered to his cronies.

Alex tensed beside me, but kept his focus straight ahead. “Just ignore them.”

“Easy for you to say. He doesn’t give a shit about you,” I hissed back.

“That’s because I don’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction.”

“Hey, Matty, come on little guy. Don’t worry, I won’t bite. Unless you ask.” The barb needled under my skin and my fists tightened of their own accord.

Alex gave me an anxious look out of the corner of his eye. “Don’t do it, Matt. You know the rules.”

I knew the rules probably better than he did. The real question was if it was worth potentially getting expelled to punch George in the face. Having my powers bound—which I finally understood meant basically taking them away—that I could handle. I’d lived this long without powers. What was the rest of my life?

“Does little Matty need permission from his keeper?”