Page 34 of Darkness Defined

“Well, thanks.” I waved the towel and let it drop.

He settled back, but still looked uncomfortable, like he wasn’t okay with the shift in topic.

“So... if you ever want, you know, a recap or something of the lessons, all you have to do is say so.” I’d intentionally not used the word help. Something told me it was probably a trigger word.

Matt shifted around and brushed his hair back. Once again, my mouth went completely dry as I became enraptured by watching him move. He worried his bottom lip and seemed to debate whether he wanted to say something. It was positively maddening. I was now immensely grateful I’d had the foresight to snatch the pillow. If he was any cuter, I’d combust. He took a deep breath and had a couple of false starts.

What do you want to say and why is it so hard?

At last, he spit out, “Would you be willing to tutor me?”

“Yes,” I replied a little too quickly, my enthusiasm clearly taking him aback. I forced myself to dial it down. He wasn’t asking me on a date, he was asking for help with his homework. “Any subject in particular?”

“All of them,” he mumbled.

“Okay.”

He glanced up sharply, doubt swimming in his eyes. “Really?”

“Of course, that’s what friends are for.” I’d meant to say roommates, but apparently my brain thought intentionally friend zoning myself was a better idea.

He gave a slow blink as he stared back at me.

Suddenly, I had a different fear. Had I just scared him off altogether by calling us friends?

“Yeah,” he finally said, the corner of his mouth tilting up slightly. He continued to stare at me while a smile teased his lips, then he blinked and he was right back to being awkward. “So, um, I’m going to go back to sleep. I guess we’ll talk later?” The lilt at the end barely made it a question, like he still wasn’t sure.

“Sure thing. I’ll see you in the morning.” The comment earned me an actual smile, though not the megawatt one that had sent me reeling earlier. He stood, gave me a half wave, then vanished into his room.

The moment the door closed behind him, I clutched my chest.

I think I’m having a heart attack. Can eighteen-year-olds have a heart attack?

The damn thing was in danger of beating right out of my chest. Had he heard it?

I looked back towards his room, afraid that he’d re-materialized and was witnessing my total freak out. Mercifully, the door was still closed. I now had zero doubts—I was one hundred percent absolutely in love with Matt.

Chapter 11

Tutor 101

M

Alexrestedhisforearmson the breakfast table and looked at me. “Let’s try a different approach. How about you tell me what you remember from class?”

We’d been at this for over an hour. It was clear he didn’t know where to start, and I was starting to think this whole tutoring thing was a mistake.

“Hey, I can see you checking out over there. Focus. Here.” He swiveled around a fat text book. “Demonic History. It’s been a few weeks. What have you learned?”

I slumped in my chair while the sense of failure I’d been battling swelled. “I already told you, nothing.”

“I don’t believe that, Matt. You pay attention to everything.”

“You’re exaggerating.” Alex was nice, but he was also overly optimistic about pretty much everything.

His eyebrow lifted in challenge. “You think so? Alright. What color is the dish towel?”

“Green.”