Page 59 of Carter

“What do I need to do?” he asks, looking at the bins and bags of food.

“Those bags,” I point to them, “need to get dumped into the bins. Just be careful. They’re heavy.”

Again, Nash rolls his eyes. He pulls the tab on the bag to open it, but nothing happens. He tugs harder and rips off a tiny piece. I roll my lips between my teeth and cover my mouth to hide the laugh as I watch him try to figure out how to open the bag. He grabs another piece and pulls harder, but all he does is tear off another small piece.

He moves to the other end and does the same thing. Still, it doesn’t open. He turns toward me, raising a brow. “What the hell is the secret?”

I burst out laughing, unable to help myself at this point. But I feel bad for the guy, so I go over and help him.

“You have to look for the loop. It’ll be on this side, where the stitch looks like this. See the difference?” I show him both sides, then tug on the thread. “Pulling this undoes it all. And the sound—” I yank it so it makes the little zipping sound, and smile. “It’s so good.”

“It shouldn’t be that difficult to get into.”

“I mean… it’s not. But, okay…”

“Where does this go?” he asks.

“The bins are labeled by animal and food brand,” I say.

“Why are there multiple brands?”

I like that he’s asking questions, wanting to learn and not just doing it because I said to. Maybe that means he’ll comeback again. I wouldn’t hate having him volunteer with me on Saturdays.

“People donate them, and some of the animals can’t have certain types of food, which is why we keep them separate. Plus it’s best to keep animals on the same food; otherwise, it can upset their stomach.”

Nash nods, then gets to work. He picks up the bags, dumps them into the bins. Opens others, does the same. I stand back and watch, enjoying seeing him like this.

Until the guilt hits me again, and I think I’m going to throw up.

I push through it though, because I’m not doing anything wrong. I’mnot. Even if Ryan was still alive, even if he was still here, standing here and watching an attractive man lift up heavy things isn’twrong. Ryan and I used to check out other guys together. I’m just human. Nash is attractive, and anyone could see that. Noticing it doesn’t make me a bad person.

I’m not doing anything wrong, I tell myself again.

“Done,” he says as he wipes his brow.

“Out of shape?” I ask smartly.

All he does is smile, which is not what I was expecting him to do. Always keeping me on my toes.

“Ready to walk the dogs?” I ask.

“Been waiting for it.”

We spend twenty minutes walking the dogs outside. There are only a few at the shelter now, and Teddy always goes at a different time. I’m the only one that she lets close enough to her that I can pet her, but others have to interact with her. They feed her, walk her. She’s just terrified the entire time she’s doing it. At least with me, she’s relaxed.

When we’re finished, and the dogs are back in their spaces, we grab our things and head to the front.

“Thanks for coming today. I had fun,” I say to him as we walk outside.

He smiles down at me. “So did I.”

Chapter twenty-one

Nash

Today is fucking hell. Every road I take is a dead end, and I feel like I’ve wasted hour after hour.

Monique St. Doran was a dead end to start all these dead ends. Found out first thing this morning and I’ve been scrambling to get something ever since.