Page 6 of Carter

Though, I try to keep a cap on that too. I can’t be the alcoholic in the office.

I also don’t want to be like my father. It’s bad enough I look like him.

When I get back to my office, I hear my phone ringing, and I realize I left it in my coat pocket. I stare at it hanging on the rack for far too long. I never forget to take my phone out. I’m distracted.

My brother’s name flashes across the screen.

“A little early,” is how I answer.

“Couldn’t sleep last night.”

“Anxious about coming home?”

“Very.”

I head over to my desk and take a seat, placing the cup of coffee down carefully so I don’t spill it. I’ve been known to do that.

“Everything will work out,” I say. “Always does.”

“I’m just nervous about how it’ll go with Miles.”

“That’s normal.”

“Yeah. Normal.” He clears his throat. “So, I need you to do me a favor.”

“Sure.”

He’s my brother. Of course I’ll do him a favor. Anything he ever needed or wanted. It’s what I do, what I’ve always done. Though he helps me support Hollis, our youngest brother, maybe he needs help right now. He’s going through a lot.

“Remember when I told you to stop calling me Jericho?”

“Yep,” I grunt. Of course I remember. It pissed me right off because I knew exactly why he didn’t want me calling him that anymore, and I’ve always thought nicknames were stupid. And our mother named us, so they mean something. But I did it for him. Because he asked. Because he’s my brother, and I love him.

“Well, I had an interesting conversation with my therapist last week, and I’d like for you to start using Jericho again.”

“Whatever you want, little brother.”

“I just don’t want to be triggered by a name.”

“Makes sense.”

“Thank you, Nash.”

“Anytime, Jericho.”

He huffs a small laugh. “Still hate it.”

“It’s your name. Mom gave it to you. You shouldn’t hate it.”

“I’m trying. Talk in a few days?”

“Yes.”

We end the call, and I sit there for a moment, staring at my phone.

Jericho is a firefighter in Chicago. We aren’t close but we do have a relationship. I check on him more than anything, though he’s pretty closed off. Neither of us are good at the communication thing, but he’s recently met someone that he’s trying to make himself better for. It’s a good thing because his husband is a dick. Well, future ex-husband. According to all the paperwork, they’ll be divorced soon.

The trauma my brothers and I went through has made the three of us shitty people—to some extent. Jericho and I help people in our jobs. Hollis tries.