Page 38 of Carter

Really? Or is he just saying that? I don’t ask because it also feels silly.

“You weren’t sleeping?”

“No. Just working.”

“You always work this late?”

“When there’s work to do, yeah.”

“Do you have any new information?” I ask, moving over to sit with my back against the headboard.

It’s been a week since I met with him last, and though he’s checked in now and then, I haven’t heard much.

“New information? No. But I do have some news.”

“Oh?”

“I have a team now.”

“A team?”

“Yeah.” He chuckles in disbelief. “Bitched at my boss last week, and today, I got a team of two people to help with field work.”

“Wow. That must be a relief.”

“A little, yeah.”

“A little?”

“I just like doing things myself. You know, so they’re done right.”

“But you’re only one person and there are only so many hours in the day.”

“Unfortunately.”

I hear a desk chair moving. A drawer opening.

“Are you still at the office?”

“Home office.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“Some may think, but it gives me something to do.” Then he lowers his voice and says in a somewhat playful tone, “Though, I did promise myself I wouldn’t use the office for work.”

“What’s the point in having it then?”

“Clearly, I was just lying to myself.”

I lie back, my heartbeat slowing back to a normal rhythm. I don’t feel like I’m overheating anymore. And I can breathe normally.

“What ever happened to having fun?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

I stay silent for a long moment, just enjoying this little bit of calm I’m feeling after such a big event. Nightmares always mess me up, and I don’t usually calm down this quickly.

“I want to have fun. I just don’t know how to without Ryan.”