Page 139 of Play For Me

“I think it’s probably too late. My advisor already talked to the cross-country coach about me helping out with them.”

I don’t like that answer at all, and I’m sure he can tell.

“But I can help you with your training outside of the team,” he says.

I can’t help pouting a little. “Do I get my massages again?”

He chuckles, the sound vibrating through me. “Baby, you get all the massages you want.” He kisses the side of my head. “This way, I can just come to all your games and watch. I get to be your biggest fan boy.”

“You’ll come to my games?”

“Every single one. Assuming you go far in the tournament?—”

I turn to him and glare and he chuckles, squeezing me tight.

When it’s time to add more logs to the fire, he explains what to do and lets me handle it myself. “Cade and Ash always act like this is some hard skill to conquer,” I tell him, using the poker to stoke the flames. “I can’t wait to build the biggest fire ever the next time we’re at the farm just to fuck with them.”

He gives me an exasperated look, but his tone is fond. “You seriously can make a competition out of anything, can’t you?”

I climb back into his lap. After nearly three weeks without touching him, I don’t want to be anywhere else. He seems to agree with me, because his arms go right back around me again.

“We should probably come up with a plan,” I say eventually, my tone careful. “Like, how we should handle it if your dad shows up or something triggers you.” He doesn’t respond, and part of me wonders if it was a mistake to bring this up. But I want to be in this with him for the long haul, and I figure that’s going to require some awkward conversations sometimes.

“It scared me when you shut down,” I tell him. “I don’t say that to make you feel guilty, I know it’s not something you chose. But I just want to know what I can do next time to make sure you’re not alone.”

He squeezes me harder. “A plan would be good,” he says, and relief rushes through me. “Having plans in place helps me feel calmer, actually. Knowing what to expect.” He kisses the side of my head. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

Itsk. “We said no more apologies.”

His lips come to my neck. “Actually, I think you said every time I was tempted to apologize, I should kiss you instead.”

My voice is amused. “Did I say that?”

He presses hot kisses across my skin. “I might be paraphrasing.”

I relax into his arms, feeling even better than I did earlier when he told me he loved me. Being able to talk about the hard shit without him getting embarrassed or shutting down on me makes me feel secure in a way that’s hard to put into words.

It makes the whole thing feel more real, I guess.

“I’ll talk about it with my therapist,” he murmurs. “Get some ideas for how to keep communication open when I’m having a rough time.”

I settle back against his chest, gripping the arms he keeps tight across my middle. “That sounds good.”

Eventually, I start to yawn. I napped in the car, but that game took a lot out of me. So did crying like a baby on the equipment room floor, but there’s no point in dwelling on that when I feel so content and happy.

“We should head in,” he tells me, and I shake my head immediately.

“It feels too good out here. I wish we could sleep right here, with the stars and the fire.” And Solomon’s arms around me.

He makes an amused sound. “I would suggest getting some sleeping bags, but I feel like I need to warn you—we get snakes out here.”

I immediately bring my feet up and rest them against his knees, making him laugh.

“Yeah, a bed is sounding better and better,” I mumble.

“We can sleep in my room.” He laughs softly. “You’ll be the first girl I ever had in there.”

“I bet it’s filled with trophies and medals and ribbons from spelling bees and shit.”