Page 89 of More For Me

I feel a little better, now that his hand is in mine, but I know the really hard part is still to come.

“That’s not the only reason I was freaking out.”

He nods. “Fox’s told me about the new agent.”

“That’s partly it. It added to myeverything is going to be differentparanoia. But that wasn’t the main thing.” I force myself to look at him and he’s already smiling in understanding.

“Kissing me freaked you out. You started to panic about things changing with us, too.”

Be brave, Lele.“I wasn’t freaking out because we kissed in the sunroom. I was freaking out because I wanted to kiss you that night you helped me with my necklace. And I really wanted to kiss you before the fireworks at Disney.” His eyes widen but I barrel ahead, sure I’ll lose my nerve if I stop talking now. “When you told me that we didn’t need to stage any more romantic photos to get back at my cousins, I was sad. Hanging out with you at the park, just the two of us, was one of the best days I’ve had.”

“We’ve been to that park dozens of times,” he points out.

“Yeah, as friends. After Vega and CeCe left it was like…we were still friends, we were still Everly and Bodhi. But we were adding all this romantic stuff, too. And I know it was just for the joke and it wasn’t real but—I think Iwantedit to be real. And that’s why I was avoiding you last week.”

I pull my hand away from his to cover my face. “But that was so awful because it means I wasn’t around when you were getting close to the anniversary—”

“You didn’t even know about the anniversary,” he says gently, trying to pull my hands away.

“But I still should have been at home! I should have been around for you.” I shake my head, feeling tears well up again. “And when you did tell me, I acted like the worst friend ever and pretended like I didn’t remember.”

“Everly—”

I finally uncover my face, needing to look at him, needing him to know how very serious I am. “I think that’s one of the worst things I’ve ever done to someone I care about.”

“Hey.” He gives me a soft smile. “It’s like you said—it was an overwhelming few weeks. You panicked.”

“I didn’t mean it,” I insist desperately. “Bodhi, I remember every second of that night. You confiding in me about Ari meant so much to me.”

He studies my face, something shifting in his eyes, making them darker. “It meant enough to you that you kissed me,” he points out.

I laugh. “Well, yeah. You’re basically the best human I know, Bodhi, and telling me about your brother just reminded me that.”

He frowns. “I don’t want you to want to kiss me because you think I’m a good person.”

“Really? Because it’s one of the things that I find most attractive about you.”

“Is that so?” he asks, eyebrows arching. “Does that mean there are other things about me you find attractive?”

My heart is pounding so hard I’m sure he must be able to hear it. I realize, belatedly, that I’m leaning towards him, and he’s mirroring my pose.

“There are many, many things I find attractive about you.”

That dark look is back in his eyes. It makes my tummy flip. “I would very much like to hear them.”

He’s teasing, I know, but I don’t want to joke around. I mean every word I’m saying, and I want him to know exactly how I see him. “You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

He makes a face. “Prettiest?”

“Yes. Shut up.” I point at his face, at the grin stretching across it. “The best smile, too. It makes the whole world brighter.” I gesture vaguely around his chest area. “And there’s this whole thing you have going on.”

“This whole thing?”

I roll my eyes. “God, Bodhi, fish for compliments much?”

“You literally offered to compliment me!” he argues.

“I also told you to shut up.”