Page 88 of More For Me

“Jordan has always had a thing for you.”

“Why do you say that?”

I shrug, fidgeting with the edge of my blanket. “I’ve seen how she looks at you.”

He lets out a long breath, relaxing back into the couch. “I’m feeling kind of stupid for not noticing that.”

Not nearly as stupid as I feel for not admitting to myself that Bodhi had a thing for me a long time ago.

“Do you…do you think you’ll go out with her again?”

He’s quiet for so long I think he might not answer. “I don’t know,” he finally says, his voice tight. I tear my gaze from the material I’ve been fiddling with and look up at him. His eyes are fixed on the far wall, his jaw tight. “I like Jordan. She’s a nice woman.” My heart turns over and I have to bite my lip, hard, to keep from whimpering. “But I think…I think you’re right. She’s liked me for a while. And that makes me feel really shitty.”

“Why would it make you feel shitty?”

“Because I never noticed. I see her every single day at work and I never noticed she had a thing for me. I feel…oblivious. Like a clueless asshole who doesn’t pay enough attention to people.”

I gape at him. That is literally the last way I would ever describe Bodhi.

“You pay attention to people, Bodhi,” I say. “You notice everything about the people you care about.”

He closes his eyes. “Maybe I was just too distracted to notice.” I open my mouth to ask what the heck that means but he finally turns to me. “I thought you were going to tell me what’s wrong.”

“Oh. Right.” I straighten my shoulders, trying to channel every bit of the strength I might have inherited from Paige Brennen Ransome. “I’ve been having a hard time because I’m confused about my feelings.” When he doesn’t say anything, I clear my throat. “My feelings for you.”

He stills. “Okay…”

Well, damn. I was kind of hoping he might make this easy on me and just like, kiss me, or something. Or tell me he fully forgives me and also, by the way, he’s super into me and would like to take me on a date. Holy crap, what would a date with Bodhi even be like? Why does just thinking about it make my stomach erupt in butterflies?

“Everly,” he says, and there’s a warning note to his voice. I get the feeling Bodhi’s legendary patience might be about to run out, if it hasn’t already.

“Sorry. I just…has Santana talked to you recently?”

Concern replaces the impatience on his face. “No. Why? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Really good, actually. She got into a performing arts school. It’s supposed to be one of the best in the country and my parents are probably going to let her go.” I swallow. “It’s in Michigan.”

His face softens. “Oh.”

“Yeah. And she told me about it that day you met me at my office.”

Understanding flashes in his eyes. “So you were freaking out a little bit, huh?”

I laugh, but it sounds more like a sob. “Just a little. You know how I am with—”

“Things changing. Yeah, I know.”

“I’m so happy for her, Bodhi. I really am. You should have seen how excited she is. But she’s not even eighteen! And the idea of her not living at home…”

“Hey.” He reaches across the couch cushion and takes my hand. “It will be okay.”

“I know,” I say automatically.

He shakes his head, not buying it. “Really, Lele. It will be okay. You’ll talk all the time and she’ll come home to visit. You guys can act like spoiled rich rock star kids and take the label’s private jet every weekend, if you want.”

I burst out laughing. “I hadn’t thought about that. I bet my Dad will try to convince the other guys the label needs a dedicated plane just for ferrying Santana home whenever she wants.”

He grins. “Or he already bought one on his own and now he’s desperately trying to think of a way to hide a private jet from your mother.”